How to cut out relationship drama: Ava Miles’ guide to being a woman

Ava Miles photographed by Karthia Zolfaghari.
Photo Credit: Kathia Zolfaghari

No matter social status, race, gender or religion, we all experience relationship challenges from time to time but there’s a hidden cause behind relationship drama and a way to end it once and for all.

International bestselling author Ava Miles, whose brand new book series “The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman” was released in August to discuss ways to remove relationship drama. Many people say they want less drama in their lives, but how many of us are actually able to identify when we are active participates on the drama and make a different choice to avert that drama?

Miles states the underlying cause of relationship drama is victim/perpetrator language … it is its own communication style, a negative style of communication. The core of the language uses guilt, shame, and manipulation to bring about desired results —classic perpetrator-style. It objectifies the parties involved, casts blame and takes no personal responsibility, and creates explosive and intractable conflict in relationships. It divides couples and prevents them from having loving interactions with others, including the people in our own family, home life, workplace, and community.

If you are living in a drama-filled relationship battered by toxic communication, you have to recognize what is going on. Here are the common strategies or phrases people use in relationships that continuously feed on drama:

* You never do anything special for me
* You always say you’re going to do it and then you don’t
* You always forget about me
* You’re not giving me enough
* You’re not pulling your weight
* This isn’t good enough
* I need more from you
* I want more from you
* This isn’t working
* I need you to do better than this

Miles says, “Goddess women speak differently. The words we use not only convey our deepest feelings and thoughts, but also our divine nature. As a goddess woman, we want to use words that are loving and kind because it’s who we truly are. We speak from our hearts. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable when saying something doesn’t come easily, when it’s a little scary to share this much of ourselves.”

Here are some examples of goddess woman language:
* I feel…
* That makes me feel like…
* What I think I hear you saying is…
* This is hard for me to say, but I’d like to share X with you…I’m not sure how to say this…
* I want to share with you
* I want you to share with me
* Can we be totally honest here?
* This doesn’t feel very loving or kind to me
* I want to understand
* My feelings are my responsibility
* I take responsibility for my part in X

For more information, visit AvaMiles.com.

About Ava Miles

International bestselling author Ava Miles calls herself a divine rockstar—something she believes everyone is deep down. With a B.A. in Rhetoric and Technical Writing and Spanish and two graduate degrees, one in International Peace Studies and another in Political Science, Ava Miles spent many years traveling the world and sharing her gifts with women and men in war-torn countries, helping them to rebuild and reintegrate their communities amidst intense struggle. She has managed multi-million-dollar projects and multi-national teams of people in the private sector, in non-profits and in domestic and international agencies as well as multilateral organizations such as the United Nations. Now, she brings that experience together with her passion for sparking joy and personal success in people’s lives, launching an all-new series of life-fulfillment books called “The Goddess Guides to Being A Woman.” With seven books in total, “The Goddess Guides” invite us all to reimagine what it means to be a modern woman—on our own terms.

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National Latino Media Coalition and CBS take immediate action to increase Latino diversity

NLMC and CBS Agree to Record Commitments to Represent Latinos at the Network
National Latino Media Coalition (NLMC) and CBS agree to record commitments to represent Latinos at the network.

In August 2017, Thomas A. Saenz, President and General Counsel of MALDEF and chair of the National Latino Media Council (NLMC), and Alex Nogales, secretariat of NLMC and President and CEO of the National Hispanic Media Coalition, met with the Chairman and CEO of CBS Corporation, Leslie Moonves, and other top executives at the network, to take immediate action to increase Latino diversity and inclusion at the network.

Backstory of increasing appearance of people of color on CBS

In 1999, Leslie Moonves signed a Memorandum of Understanding with the NLMC, American Indians in Film and Television, the Asian Pacific American Media Coalition, and the NAACP, promising to diversify and increase people of color in the workforce. The meeting in August was convened to evaluate current benchmarks and agree to commitments that will ensure that Latinos are well-represented behind and in front of camera at CBS.

“In a short amount of time, CBS made substantial changes that have catapulted the network to a leader in the field when it comes to the inclusion of Latinos,” said Alex Nogales, president and CEO of the National Hispanic Media Coalition. “This shows that great strides can be made when executives at the networks make hiring Latinos a priority and we hope that every other network considers them an example to follow. CBS agreed that the great progress they have made is only the beginning and NLMCare heartened by how seriously CBS has taken the need for Latino inclusion. Specifically, the network has done the following:

  • Doubled the number of Latino regular actors from 2016;

  • Doubled the number of Latino writers since 2016;

  • Agreed to order scripts from Latino content creators or shows Latin themes and auspices; and

  • Agreed to hear an additional 10 pitches from ten Latino writers/producers.”

“Latinos have been the largest minority group in this country for nearly a decade and a half, and Latinos now represent one in four public school students from Kindergarten through 12th grade nationwide,” according to Thomas A. Saenz, chair of the National Latino Media Council.  “In other words, now is the time for all networks and other media outlets to address this longstanding issue of significant Latino underrepresentation, for the outlets’ own future prosperity as much as anything; CBS has now taken strides to address this issue, and others should follow the CBS example.”

Latino audiences make up nearly 18 percent of the population. Advertisers are eager to reach them as NLMC continues talks with CBS about a pilot focusing on Latinos, additional Latino directors and episodes airing on the network, as well as Latino representation in their casting offices, procurement business, and creative entertainment executives,” Nogales added.

While talks with CBS and other television networks are continuing, NHMC has assembled the NHMC Action Network, a group of influencers working both inside and outside of the entertainment industry, with the mission of supporting changes that make media as diverse as the world we live in.

About The National Latino Media Council

The National Latino Media Council aims to radically transform the media landscape to one that is inclusive of American Latinos from all walks of life. Specifically, it is dedicated to increasing Latino employment both in front and behind the camera. NLMC signed Memoranda of Understanding with ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX seventeen years ago to create opportunities for Latinos at the networks. It is also undertaking efforts to diversify the film studios and talent agencies. The National Hispanic Media Coalition has acted as Secretariat of the Council since its founding.

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A time to ‘Resist’: new music from R&B artist Agency

In a highly politicized society,  political statements and powerful, informed dialogues matter, even in the form of music. ‘Resist’ by Agency gives that  and more with a political statement in the form of highly politicized music of the 60’s and 70’s  translated in the style of modern R&B. Listening to the album, you’ll hear traces of world, electronic, pop and rock influences, while enjoying the breadth and eccentrics of modern R&B. You can listen and share ‘Resist’ on Spotify and iTunes today.

Agency is similar to musical artists such as Frank Ocean, Sampha, Gallant, James Blake, FKA Twigs, and Drake. As an artist, Agency’s attitude is grounded in music story telling to cover the human experience, shed light, support hope and let go of regrets and fears. In between recording the followup to the critically acclaimed debut album IDENTITY, Agency decided to discuss, the utter turmoil and social upheaval centered around the US political climate.

Drawing upon various musical influences, including house, hip-hop, funk, and even blues, this set strives to expose the inequities, fears, and hope of existing generations and generations to come. Some songs, like original “Till & Marrow” draw the subject from racially charged incidences from the past. This song specifically address the killings of Emmet Till and Henry Marrow.

Senses of Insecurity is a breathtaking lamentation, setting a poem by Maya Angelou to stark instrumentation and melody. And tackling two covers, the lesser known Sinead O’Connor tune “Black Boys On Mopeds” and Jimi Hendrix’s Machine Gun, the act demonstrates through song that many of today’s issues are rooted in the past. To learn more about Agency, follow the @the_world_of_agency via Instagram as well as Facebook.

 

Resist album is now available from Agency.

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Dating with conflicting political views and how to cope : eHarmony CEO shares

Political views and love... addressing conflict.
Love and politics. Will they get the best of you? Learn how to cope when your date as different political views from yours.

Have a dating profile on eHarmony and wonder whether your political affiliation matters? If you’re looking to date women, it matters. There has been a 43% increase in women who feel like they need to make their political affiliations known. eHarmony’s CEO Grant Langston recently pulled together some practical tips on how to cope when dating someone with political differences. Here’s the scoop:

Grant Langston Eharmony CEO 2017

How to navigate this unprecedented political time while on a first date:

A first date could easily be derailed by conversations about politics. eHarmony recommends that you not make your first date a debate, but just a happy, high-level,  getting to know you meet-up.  In other words, keep it lighthearted and positive and don’t discuss details about the ex on a first date, the same holds true for any strong political opinions.

Get clear with and know where you stand in the political arena. 

If you are passionate about your political party, and it is important to you that a partner also be aligned in that way, it is best to learn the information sooner than later. By date 3 at the latest. Do not invest too much time into someone if you know this is a deal breaker.

“Everything about this guy is amazing, but he loves Trump. And I am not a fan. What do I do?” 

Assuming this is not a deal breaker for you, try to really go into a conversation with an open mind-set about why your date feels the way he does. Is it a matter of backing his policies, or does he just like the President’s personality? The more information you have, the better you can make a decision about your date’s judgment and values – and whether they align with yours.

eHarmony work life

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New electropop music: ‘Little Less Shy’ by Carly Harpur Hollander

Carly Harper Hollander style, confidence and new ep. Have a listen here.
Carly Harpur Hollander shows confidence and release her single ‘Little Less Shy.’ Listen now.

Electronic based pop music, also known as electropop, is popular from east coast to west coast and even worldwide. Looking for new electropop music to add to your playlist? Los Angeles pop/electropop artist CarlyHarpur  Hollander has a brand new single entitled ‘ Little Less Shy.’ This is the first single from her new EP ‘Turn Down Your Mind, Open Your Eyes.’ Have a listen here:

Play ‘Little Less Shy’ on Spotify.

Hollander has music vibes similar to Selena Gomez, Hailee Steinfeld, and the 1975. You may recall Hollander for acting on Showtime’s House of Lies; Best Actress at the Moondance Film Festival in 2015 for her work on ’The Boy at the Window.’  Her background in children’s musical theatre really shaped the way she uses her songs for story telling. Follow Hollander on instagram @CarlyHarpurHollander and Facebook.

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The Stangs bring us ‘American Sessions’ new music

The Stangs band from Wales.
The brit rock band the Stangs debut their EP American Sessions. Rock band members: Graeme Heath – Guitar/Vocals, Josh Lomas – Bass, and Glenn Alcock – Drums are pictured.

Need some new music to rock to this fall? Fast-rising Welsh indie rockers, The Stangs, will soon release their EP ‘American Sessions.’ Two signals are out now from the album: ‘She’s a Stranger’ and ‘The Beekeeper.’ It is definitely two singles that will keep you in good company on long road trips, on the way to work, or even when you are enjoying a cold or hot brew.

The Stangs are from Pembrokeshire, Western Wales. The band’s genre is a blend of rhythm & blues, alternative rock, and indie rock. If you enjoy skiffle, brit rock, and pop punk, you will enjoy hearing new music from The Stangs. Have a listen to ‘She’s a Stranger’ and ‘ The Beekeeper’ now. Let us know your thoughts and follow the band on Facebook.

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New music: “CEO” by Aradia | Women Entrepreneurs

Aradia ’s CEO electropop music video has an 80’s feel in all the right ways. The synth-infused power power-pop anthem is upbeat and full of girl power themes as well as other zeitgeists of culture. This is Aradia’s first single from her upcoming EP ‘CEO,’a Los Angeles based artist. Listen to CEO plus two remixes on Spotify today.

The music video diversity keeps viewers and listeners engaged. Share Aradia’s new single with a boss chick CEO near you and let us know your thoughts. Learn more about Aradia’s originality and depth in electropop on Facebook and Instagram @AradiasMusic.

What we love about Aradia

– She composes and produces her own music
– She’s independent and creativity
– She designs her own futuristic fantasy garb
– She reps the Aaron Copland School Music
– Aradia is a New Yorker

Get on iTunes.

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Deception by Melissa Sharee | Best of R &B

Deception is the story of love

Highly recommend listening to R & B Singer Melissa Sharee’s song “Deception.” It gives an honest story telling of romance and deceit.  All genres ages 21 – 65 can definitely relate to the song. Let us know your thoughts on Deception  by leaving a comment on the Youtube video.

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Eddy K Bridal’s Stunning Spring 2018 Collection is here.

Eddy K Bridal Collections 2018 preview.

Inspired by the stunning shores of the Mediterranean Sea, Eddy K Bridal’s 2018 collection features glamorous details, exquisite laces and show-stopping silhouettes. The collection recently premiered at Bridal Week, and is available at Designer Loft Bridal in New York City. Take a look at some of the new styles on our Instagram. Dresses are available for pulls. For more information visit EddyK.com.

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Life and family: Six tips for a stress free summer

It is the summertime and we hope the living is easy but sometimes the least expected happens. Families face all kinds of pressure during the summer time: the kids are bored; there’s not enough money to go on that perfect vacation; the job is stressing you out and you have no idea how prepared you or the kids will be by the time for everyone to go back to school and work when it’s all over. Luckily veteran holistic physician and author of The Emotion Code, Dr. Bradley Nelson, has tips to share on how to enjoy a stress-free summer.

Beating the Summertime (Stress) Blues

Even though summers are supposed to be relaxing, they can be stressful. In one survey, a third of Americans reported that they find themselves more stressed during the summer than any other season. Here are some of Dr. Nelson’s tips for enjoying a more relaxing summer:

1. Plan ahead and be flexible about your expectations, whether it’s summer activities for the kids or vacation plans. Everyone else has expectations and sometimes they won’t match with yours. Plan for spontaneity. If you allow the plans that others have to be a part of what brings you joy, you’ll have more fun as everyone shares ideas and activities. Be the one who makes the vacation fun for others and it will be more joyful for you.

2. Be aware of what your body needs. This includes healthy food, plenty of water, rest and exercise. So don’t throw your routines out the window when you’re on vacation. Get plenty of exercise so you’ll feel good. Continue eating healthy. You’ll feel better about yourself if you’re really taking care of your body.

3. Decide to take care of yourself emotionally. You may need specific things such as the emotional support of a spouse, a lunch date with a friend or even just some time alone. Decide how busy you want to be ­– or not be. Say “no” to trying to do too much if it interferes with your health, family time or if it feels like it’ll cause too much stress for you.

4. Communicate with love. If you’re feeling stressed by interactions with family or others, take a breather. You might go outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air. Be kind to everyone, including yourself. Give hugs. Make sure you’re not overreacting. None of us communicate perfectly. Try to see what others really mean, not just what they say. Give them the benefit of the doubt because it’s likely no offense was meant. Ask for clarification and react appropriately, with kindness, love and forgiveness. Some people really don’t have a handle on their behavior but it doesn’t have to affect how you feel or be your problem.

5. Choose Your Emotions: Most people have this mistaken belief that our emotions choose us; that we are at the mercy of whatever emotions we tend to start feeling. But the reality of it is, no matter what the circumstance is, we always are choosing our own emotions. It’s important to recognize that fact. You don’t always have control over what happens to you but you can choose to respond proactively.

6. Identify and release “trapped emotions,” unresolved feelings from past negative and traumatic events emotional baggage can cause us to make wrong assumptions, react emotionally and contribute to anxiety, depression and most forms of illness.

About Dr. Bradley Nelson

Dr. Bradley Nelson has lectured internationally on the natural healing of chronic illness and successfully treated patients from across the US and Canada for more than 20 years. Dr. Nelson has trained more than 3,200 practitioners worldwide on how to help people overcome unresolved anger, depression, anxiety, loneliness and other negative emotions and the physical symptoms associated them. He is one of the world’s foremost experts in the emerging fields of Bioenergetic Medicine and Energy Psychology. His bestselling book “The Emotion Code” is helping people all over the world to improve their lives. Download a free copy of The Emotion Code in both audio and .pdf versions, including step-by-step instructions for working with the body’s healing power at EmotionCodeGift.com or the app that works on iPhones, iPads and other Apple devices.

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