Happy Valentine’s Day! Ashley Madison has just released a new study examining how cheaters juggle their marriage and their affairs on Valentine’s Day. Turns out cheaters prioritize affair partners over spouses on V-Day.
Check out key findings
- 30% of cheaters rather spend V-Day w/ their affair partners
- Cheaters are spending upwards of $250 on affair partners
- Nearly one-third of cheaters celebrate Valentine’s Day with their affair partner
No more sidelines for the Side Piece this Valentine’s Day
Ashley Madison, the world’s leading married dating website, used its unprecedented access to people who cheat to find out how members juggle the romantic responsibility of celebrating their marriage and their extramarital relationship on the special day. As it turns out, cheaters spend Valentine’s Day very differently between their two partners and prioritizing a spouse is no longer the status quo with almost a third (28%) of survey respondents opting to spend it with their affair partner.
Spouse vs. Mistress/Misteress
With extramarital partners, people often aren’t looking to replace their spouse, they’re looking to fulfill unmet needs. That said, it’s clear there is a shift happening and the affair partner is rising up the ranks as it pertains to partner priority.
“Typically, holidays and special occasions are reserved for the spouse and the affair partner is sidelined,” says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications at Ashley Madison. “But for Valentine’s Day this year, we’re seeing that affairs of the heart can lead to new traditions with a greater importance being placed on the extramarital relationship.”
Also interesting is that respondents spend about the same amount of money on their primary partner as they do for their affair partner. According to the survey, more than a third of respondents say they spend between $100-$250 on their affair partner, while the same amount (36%) say they spend $100-$250 when asked how much they spend on their spouse. This is surprising because you’d think the main romantic holiday of the year would be reserved for the primary partner, but this implies there is no real distinction between how they view the importance of each relationship.
Cheaters spend the same amount on their spouse and affair partner, but spend the money in different ways.
When asked, 71% of respondents say they celebrate Valentine’s Day with their affair partner by having sex, whereas 73% spend Valentine’s Day with their spouse by having dinner. Cheaters are likely spending their money on their spouse during dinner while spending the same amount on things like a hotel room for the affair partner.
“Between how they spend their money and how they spend their time, the members surveyed are demonstrating that there is an increased investment being made with affair partners,” says Mise. “It will be interesting to see if this shift continues.”
*Survey of 1,638 members of Ashley Madison between January 25, 2018 to February 5, 2018
Today Ashley Madison released a new study examining why people cheat. The main takeaway: besides sex, affair partners are helping cheaters fill emotional voids that spouses aren’t. Here are key findings from the study:
- Cheaters found more affection (44%) and friendship (42%) w/ affair partners vs. spouses
- Cheaters say affair partners helped them regain confidence (29%) and feel more desired (48%)
The full study has more interesting data. Here are highlights:
According to the survey, sex is the number one reason people choose to cheat (61%), but the other reasons also show a great deal about why some relationships experience infidelity. Cheaters are actively trying to fill a void in their lives, in their marriages, and in their relationships. Some want to expand the physical elements like exploring new desires (45%), while others are looking for emotional reassurance like affection (44%), friendship (42%) and the feeling of butterflies again (30%).
“The reasons why people cheat are very telling of the types of relationships that people find themselves in,” says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. “When sex and intimacy fade, often times monogamy becomes a struggle for our members but they don’t want to leave their partner altogether. Infidelity is an avenue for them to have certain needs met and stay happy in their primary relationship.”
Stray to Stay
Infidelity is often portrayed as an immoral act and is rarely looked at in a positive light. But the members of AshleyMadison.com aren’t necessarily looking to leave their spouse, they are looking to repair the emptiness that they are feeling. People find themselves in a family, in a loving marriage, in financial stability yet are lacking specific areas in those relationships. And that’s why sex comes up as a top reason for why people cheat. This doesn’t mean they’re looking to fully replace their spouse as 54% survey respondents are only seeking short-term dating. Furthermore, 50% of respondents said they cheat and not leave their spouse because they love their partner but are just looking for more sexual fulfillment.
As a result, survey respondents have revealed what it is they like about having affairs allows them to return to their marriage and their household unit as a happier more satisfied partner. Not surprisingly, for the majority it came down to the fact their sexual needs were met (76%). For others it made them feel more alive (51%), they felt desired (48%), their emotional needs were met (37%), and they regained their confidence (29%). These are all areas of life that people need to feel secure and be happy, and they get that from finding what they need outside of the marriage when their partner is unable to give them that.
Sure cheating comes with some downsides like potentially getting caught. But for the members of AshleyMadison.com, they aren’t too worried about it. When asked, 71% of respondents said they don’t feel guilty about cheating on their partner, nor is it the top concern for cheaters when entering an affair. So when it comes to cheating, is the risk worth the reward? If the reward means being happy again, then it seems like the answer is yes.
From whips to bullet vibrators, the discussion of sex toys and overall sexual pleasure were topics to discuss behind closed doors. Lucky for us the world is changing and encourages us to think out loud about our deepest fantasies and so much more. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Fromgirltogirl is here to chat sex toys. Our new favorite on-the-go sex toy is the mini bullet vibrator.
About the mini bullet vibrator
Using a mini bullet vibrator has been on our bucket list for a while. We love that it is easy to use and carry around anytime we need it. Some may be surprised, but the mini is powerful for its size. The reason we decided to try the mini bullet is for clitoral stimulation, a favorite among sexual stimulation. But it can do so much more than a great orgasm.
Mini bullet vibrators are not solely for sexual pleasure. Feel free to use it for getting a massage. It feels great and gives better circulation of blood throughout the body. We even use it to relieve muscle pain and tension after working out.
The sex toy every woman should have
When we say every woman should have a mini bullet vibrator, we mean it. Here is what we love about it:
- It has the power to give an orgasm in less than 3 minutes. The mini bullet vibrator is especially intense for clitoral stimulation but the toy can stimulate any part of the body.
- The mini bullet vibrator can be used during sex as well as with other toys. One of the best ways to truly enjoy sex is to get to know your body. When you know your body, you know where you can reach the most pleasure and guide your sex partner to the right spots. Some favorite spots to use the mini bullet vibrator: the clitoris, nipples, and even the lower back.
- The toy is portable. Yes, go and toss your vibrator in your handbag. You may even store it in your pocket. Why? It is a stress reliever when you need it and you never know when you will need that relief. No, you don’t have to use it on your vagina all the time. Sometimes you just need to massage your head because you have a headache. What works for you is what counts.
- It makes for a great couples sex toy. For example, you can insert the mini bullet vibrator at the base of dildos, anal toys, or cock rings to offer vibration.
The mini bullet vibrator we got is easy to use, discrete. Watch the video below to learn more about the benefits:
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Ashley Madison reveals what makes extramarital sex so hot.
This week, Ashley Madison ,the world’s leading married dating website, a new study examining sexual preferences with spouses vs. affair partners. The results: affair partners are more daring and generous in bed.
- 53% never try new sex positions with their spouse while 93% try them with their affair partner
- Only 38% use sex toys with their spouse while two-thirds (65%) do so with their affair partner
- 62% say their spouse performs oral on them but 94% say their affair partner gives them oral
Here are ways cheaters keep it sexy in the sack with these 5 positions
When it comes to extramarital affairs, is the sex hotter because desire and risk intersect? Does forbidden sex translate to more experimental sex? Ashley Madison surveyed a sample of its members to find out how they shake it up between the sheets with their affair partner, how this compares to sex with their spouse, and how men and women differ when it comes to seeking pleasure.
Doggy-Style Is Best in Show
When surveyed members were asked to name their favourite sex position, doggy-style took the top spot for men (53%) and women (57%). For men, this was followed by cowgirl (woman on top) at 37% and the more basic missionary (man on top) at 36%. Missionary took second place (33%) for women followed by the more nimble legs over the shoulder position (28%).
Top 5 Favorite Sex Positions For Males
- Doggy-style – 53%
- Cowgirl – 37%
- Missionary – 36%
- Sixty-nine – 31%
- Legs over the shoulder – 30%
Top 5 Favorite Sex Positions For Females
- Doggy-style – 57%
- Missionary – 33%
- Legs over the shoulder – 28%
- Cowgirl – 25%
- Legs up – 25%
Are surveyed members actually getting what they like? Not surprisingly, when asked what sex position they perform the most with their spouse the more basic missionary position ranked highest (60%). But when it comes to an extramarital partner, the most performed position is doggy-style (56%), followed by missionary (38%) and the cowgirl position (36%). Since doggy-style is the preferred position for females, it’s no wonder 83% said they are able to reach climax with their extramarital partner.
Playing inside (and outside) the marital bedroom
A lack of inhibition is much more common in extramarital encounters because they allow people to break out of their routine with someone they may or may not see again. That’s likely why 53% of respondents refrain from trying new sex positions with their spouse while 93% say they do try with their extramarital partner. It seems there is a greater willingness to infuse more adventure and creativity into their affair rather than improving the sex inside their marriage.
When it comes to play inside the bedroom, 38% admit to using sex toys with their spouse while more than half (65%) say they do so with their affair partner. As for roleplay, 16% engage in role play with their spouse compared to 48% engaging in role play with their extramarital partner.
What about giving and receiving? Almost three-quarters (74%) of respondents perform oral sex on their spouse with 62% saying their spouse performs oral sex on them. However, a whopping 90% say they perform oral sex on their extramarital partner with a further 94% saying their extramarital partner performs oral sex on them. Although many have oral sex with their spouse, there is a clearly more occurring between respondents in their extramarital relationships.
When asked where they prefer to have sex, most respondents (88%) said they like the mix it up both having sex inside and outside of the bedroom.
Whether you are a cheater or been cheated on, cheaters won’t stop cheating in 2018. In a new report, Ashley Madison, the #1 website worldwide for married dating and affairs, polled 4,000 of its users to identify the top New Year’s resolutions among those with extramarital partners. Here are the top-3:
- 34% say increasing the amount of new experiences with their extramarital partner
- 31% say being healthier by eating better and exercising
- 13% say spending more time with their extramarital partner
Bottom line: The Ashley Madison data reveals that cheaters are planning more adulterous fun in the New Year. At the end of the day cheaters are quite content with how their relationships (well, at least one of their relationships) are going and don’t need a resolution because of it. In this survey, 65% of respondents say they are either having an affair or pursuing an affair, of which 73% already have one extramarital partner, with 27% having multiple partners now.
Planning a New Year’s resolution is something that people do when they want to make a positive change in their lives, a change to make them happier, says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. Our members are showing us that they are already happy or on a pathway to finding happiness and that’s why they don’t feel the need to make a New Year’s resolution.
Check out more information at AshleyMadison.com.
Ava Miles, who has recently released a new series of non-fiction books, is helping women let themselves be more comfortable expressing their inner goddesses. Miles shares with us on how to handle and what to say when someone hurts our feelings through her series “The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman.” If you read “Goddesses Don’t Do Drama: Removing Toxicity from Relationships,”which is one of the books from the series, it helps people get through relationship moments when they are feeling hurt or angry.
It takes courage to go from hurt to healing. What’s one of Ava’s secrets in knowing what to say when someone hurts your feelings? Transforming unhealthy relationship patterns.
According to Miles, many of us never learned how to express anger and sadness. Sometimes that may be the case because we are encouraged not to do so. We simply don’t know how to say things kindly when we’re upset. And sometimes it can make us physically ill and unhappy.
“You don’t have to walk away or wait until after the ‘f*ck you’ to speak your truth,” says Miles. It all begins with recognizing and removing victim/perpetrator language from the conversation.
What Is Victim/Perpetrator Language?
Here are some examples:
- It’s all your fault.
- You did this.
- You’re to blame for this.
- You’re wrong.
- You’re not giving me enough.
- This isn’t good enough.
- You’re not pulling your weight.
Victim/perpetrator language is the language of drama. In order to get to the open-hearted, honest, loving communication we all crave — we need to begin to recognize and move away from the raised-voice or talk-to-the-hand variety. Ava invites us all to try our hand at goddess-woman language by using statements such as:
- I feel…
- What I think I hear you saying is…
- This is hard for me to say, but I’d like to share this with you…
- This doesn’t feel very loving or kind to me.
- I want to understand.
- My feelings are my responsibility.
- I take responsibility for my part in _______.
“Goddess women use words that convey love, compassion, kindness, affirmation, and honesty,” says Miles. “Sure, we all have moments when we might not be able to package our feelings and thoughts into a big red bow, and that’s okay. We can be honest about that too.”
Learn more information by visiting www.AvaMiles.com.
Good marital advice is priceless to millennials who struggle to navigate dating scene and feel overwhelmed by thought of marriage and a family lifestyle. When Peter Davidson, author of various book publishers, grandson Joel got engaged, Davidson decided to jot down some words of marital wisdom to Joel. The marital advice was based on his vast experience as a husband and thought why not share this wisdom with the world. From there, Davidson started his blog maritaladvicetomygrandsonjoel.com to share upbeat and humorous advice and stories of married life that any engaged couple, newlywed, long-married person, or single person will find insightful and fun to read. He adds new “wisdom” to the site every week. If you subscribe to the blog, you will automatically receive each update. Let us know what you think.
No matter social status, race, gender or religion, we all experience relationship challenges from time to time but there’s a hidden cause behind relationship drama and a way to end it once and for all.
International bestselling author Ava Miles, whose brand new book series “The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman” was released in August to discuss ways to remove relationship drama. Many people say they want less drama in their lives, but how many of us are actually able to identify when we are active participates on the drama and make a different choice to avert that drama?
Miles states the underlying cause of relationship drama is victim/perpetrator language … it is its own communication style, a negative style of communication. The core of the language uses guilt, shame, and manipulation to bring about desired results —classic perpetrator-style. It objectifies the parties involved, casts blame and takes no personal responsibility, and creates explosive and intractable conflict in relationships. It divides couples and prevents them from having loving interactions with others, including the people in our own family, home life, workplace, and community.
If you are living in a drama-filled relationship battered by toxic communication, you have to recognize what is going on. Here are the common strategies or phrases people use in relationships that continuously feed on drama:
* You never do anything special for me
* You always say you’re going to do it and then you don’t
* You always forget about me
* You’re not giving me enough
* You’re not pulling your weight
* This isn’t good enough
* I need more from you
* I want more from you
* This isn’t working
* I need you to do better than this
Miles says, “Goddess women speak differently. The words we use not only convey our deepest feelings and thoughts, but also our divine nature. As a goddess woman, we want to use words that are loving and kind because it’s who we truly are. We speak from our hearts. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable when saying something doesn’t come easily, when it’s a little scary to share this much of ourselves.”
Here are some examples of goddess woman language:
* I feel…
* That makes me feel like…
* What I think I hear you saying is…
* This is hard for me to say, but I’d like to share X with you…I’m not sure how to say this…
* I want to share with you
* I want you to share with me
* Can we be totally honest here?
* This doesn’t feel very loving or kind to me
* I want to understand
* My feelings are my responsibility
* I take responsibility for my part in X
For more information, visit AvaMiles.com.
About Ava Miles
International bestselling author Ava Miles calls herself a divine rockstar—something she believes everyone is deep down. With a B.A. in Rhetoric and Technical Writing and Spanish and two graduate degrees, one in International Peace Studies and another in Political Science, Ava Miles spent many years traveling the world and sharing her gifts with women and men in war-torn countries, helping them to rebuild and reintegrate their communities amidst intense struggle. She has managed multi-million-dollar projects and multi-national teams of people in the private sector, in non-profits and in domestic and international agencies as well as multilateral organizations such as the United Nations. Now, she brings that experience together with her passion for sparking joy and personal success in people’s lives, launching an all-new series of life-fulfillment books called “The Goddess Guides to Being A Woman.” With seven books in total, “The Goddess Guides” invite us all to reimagine what it means to be a modern woman—on our own terms.
Have a dating profile on eHarmony and wonder whether your political affiliation matters? If you’re looking to date women, it matters. There has been a 43% increase in women who feel like they need to make their political affiliations known. eHarmony’s CEO Grant Langston recently pulled together some practical tips on how to cope when dating someone with political differences. Here’s the scoop:
How to navigate this unprecedented political time while on a first date:
A first date could easily be derailed by conversations about politics. eHarmony recommends that you not make your first date a debate, but just a happy, high-level, getting to know you meet-up. In other words, keep it lighthearted and positive and don’t discuss details about the ex on a first date, the same holds true for any strong political opinions.
Get clear with and know where you stand in the political arena.
If you are passionate about your political party, and it is important to you that a partner also be aligned in that way, it is best to learn the information sooner than later. By date 3 at the latest. Do not invest too much time into someone if you know this is a deal breaker.
“Everything about this guy is amazing, but he loves Trump. And I am not a fan. What do I do?”
Assuming this is not a deal breaker for you, try to really go into a conversation with an open mind-set about why your date feels the way he does. Is it a matter of backing his policies, or does he just like the President’s personality? The more information you have, the better you can make a decision about your date’s judgment and values – and whether they align with yours.