What to say when someone hurts your feelings and not hide your truth

How to react when someone hurts your feelings

Ava Miles, who has recently released a new series of non-fiction books, is helping women let themselves be more comfortable expressing their inner goddesses. Miles shares with us on how to handle and what to say when someone hurts our feelings through her series The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman. If you read “Goddesses Don’t Do Drama: Removing Toxicity from Relationships,”which is one of the books from the series, it helps people get through relationship moments when they are feeling hurt or angry.

It takes courage to go from hurt to healing. What’s one of Ava’s secrets in knowing what to say when someone hurts your feelings? Transforming unhealthy relationship patterns.

According to Miles, many of us never learned how to express anger and sadness. Sometimes that may be the case because we are encouraged not to do so. We simply don’t know how to say things kindly when we’re upset. And sometimes it can make us physically ill and unhappy.

“You don’t have to walk away or wait until after the ‘f*ck you’ to speak your truth,” says Miles. It all begins with recognizing and removing victim/perpetrator language from the conversation.

What Is Victim/Perpetrator Language?

Here are some examples:

  • It’s all your fault.
  • You did this.
  • You’re to blame for this.
  • You’re wrong.
  • You’re not giving me enough.
  • This isn’t good enough.
  • You’re not pulling your weight.

Victim/perpetrator language is the language of drama. In order to get to the open-hearted, honest, loving communication we all crave — we need to begin to recognize and move away from the raised-voice or talk-to-the-hand variety. Ava invites us all to try our hand at goddess-woman language by using statements such as:

  • I feel…
  • What I think I hear you saying is…
  • This is hard for me to say, but I’d like to share this with you…
  • This doesn’t feel very loving or kind to me.
  • I want to understand.
  • My feelings are my responsibility.
  • I take responsibility for my part in _______.

“Goddess women use words that convey love, compassion, kindness, affirmation, and honesty,” says Miles. “Sure, we all have moments when we might not be able to package our feelings and thoughts into a big red bow, and that’s okay. We can be honest about that too.”

Learn more information by visiting  www.AvaMiles.com.

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How and what to talk to your daughter about sex

Photographer Kathia Zolfaghari takes photo of Ava Miles on couch as Miles talks about sex.
Ava Miles shares tips on how to talk about sex with daughters. Photo Credit: Kathia Zolfaghari

Have a pre-teen or teenage daughter(s)? Let’s talk about sex. What are you telling your daughter(s) about sex? Ava Miles, author of the book series “The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman” discussed with us about the important points to make when talking about sex:

What Are You Teaching Your Daughter About Sex?

According to surveys conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, teens say parents are the biggest influence when it comes to their decisions about sex. What are parents telling their kids about sex? What are they telling their daughters?

Female sexuality is taboo in cultures and societies throughout the world but should we convey those views to our daughters. Miles encourages parents to look at the language they use around sexuality with their children, specifically their daughters. Here are some questions parents should ask each other:

  • Are you using fear-based language?
  • Are you using shame-based language?
  • Are you talking about sex as something purely functional?
  • Or are you sharing information about how sex can be fun, joyful and connected?

When talking with your daughters about sex, have the focus be on developing them into strong women who practice healthy sex and overall happy lifestyle. Positive sex lives begin with how parents present sex to their daughters and sons.

Miles wants all women and girls to identify with their innate goddess nature, and part of that entails creating joy and comfort around their own sexuality. You can learn more about how to start and continue the discussion by visiting AvaMiles.com.

About Ava Miles

 Ava Miles is an international bestselling author with a B.A. in Rhetoric and Technical Writing as well as Spanish. She also has two graduate degrees, one in International Peace Studies and another in Political Science.

Using her degree, Miles spent many years traveling the world and sharing her gifts with women and men in war-torn countries, helping them to rebuild and reintegrate their communities amidst intense struggle. She has managed multi-million-dollar projects and multi-national teams of people in the private sector, in non-profits and in domestic and international agencies as well as multilateral organizations such as the United Nations.

Now, she brings that experience together with her passion for sparking joy and personal success in people’s lives, launching an all-new series of life-fulfillment books called “The Goddess Guides to Being A Woman.” With seven books in total, “The Goddess Guides” invites readers to reimagine what it means to be a modern woman—on their own terms.

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Dating with conflicting political views and how to cope : eHarmony CEO shares

Political views and love... addressing conflict.
Love and politics. Will they get the best of you? Learn how to cope when your date as different political views from yours.

Have a dating profile on eHarmony and wonder whether your political affiliation matters? If you’re looking to date women, it matters. There has been a 43% increase in women who feel like they need to make their political affiliations known. eHarmony’s CEO Grant Langston recently pulled together some practical tips on how to cope when dating someone with political differences. Here’s the scoop:

Grant Langston Eharmony CEO 2017

How to navigate this unprecedented political time while on a first date:

A first date could easily be derailed by conversations about politics. eHarmony recommends that you not make your first date a debate, but just a happy, high-level,  getting to know you meet-up.  In other words, keep it lighthearted and positive and don’t discuss details about the ex on a first date, the same holds true for any strong political opinions.

Get clear with and know where you stand in the political arena. 

If you are passionate about your political party, and it is important to you that a partner also be aligned in that way, it is best to learn the information sooner than later. By date 3 at the latest. Do not invest too much time into someone if you know this is a deal breaker.

“Everything about this guy is amazing, but he loves Trump. And I am not a fan. What do I do?” 

Assuming this is not a deal breaker for you, try to really go into a conversation with an open mind-set about why your date feels the way he does. Is it a matter of backing his policies, or does he just like the President’s personality? The more information you have, the better you can make a decision about your date’s judgment and values – and whether they align with yours.

eHarmony work life

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New music: “CEO” by Aradia | Women Entrepreneurs

Aradia ’s CEO electropop music video has an 80’s feel in all the right ways. The synth-infused power power-pop anthem is upbeat and full of girl power themes as well as other zeitgeists of culture. This is Aradia’s first single from her upcoming EP ‘CEO,’a Los Angeles based artist. Listen to CEO plus two remixes on Spotify today.

The music video diversity keeps viewers and listeners engaged. Share Aradia’s new single with a boss chick CEO near you and let us know your thoughts. Learn more about Aradia’s originality and depth in electropop on Facebook and Instagram @AradiasMusic.

What we love about Aradia

– She composes and produces her own music
– She’s independent and creativity
– She designs her own futuristic fantasy garb
– She reps the Aaron Copland School Music
– Aradia is a New Yorker

Get on iTunes.

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Life and family: Six tips for a stress free summer

It is the summertime and we hope the living is easy but sometimes the least expected happens. Families face all kinds of pressure during the summer time: the kids are bored; there’s not enough money to go on that perfect vacation; the job is stressing you out and you have no idea how prepared you or the kids will be by the time for everyone to go back to school and work when it’s all over. Luckily veteran holistic physician and author of The Emotion Code, Dr. Bradley Nelson, has tips to share on how to enjoy a stress-free summer.

Beating the Summertime (Stress) Blues

Even though summers are supposed to be relaxing, they can be stressful. In one survey, a third of Americans reported that they find themselves more stressed during the summer than any other season. Here are some of Dr. Nelson’s tips for enjoying a more relaxing summer:

1. Plan ahead and be flexible about your expectations, whether it’s summer activities for the kids or vacation plans. Everyone else has expectations and sometimes they won’t match with yours. Plan for spontaneity. If you allow the plans that others have to be a part of what brings you joy, you’ll have more fun as everyone shares ideas and activities. Be the one who makes the vacation fun for others and it will be more joyful for you.

2. Be aware of what your body needs. This includes healthy food, plenty of water, rest and exercise. So don’t throw your routines out the window when you’re on vacation. Get plenty of exercise so you’ll feel good. Continue eating healthy. You’ll feel better about yourself if you’re really taking care of your body.

3. Decide to take care of yourself emotionally. You may need specific things such as the emotional support of a spouse, a lunch date with a friend or even just some time alone. Decide how busy you want to be ­– or not be. Say “no” to trying to do too much if it interferes with your health, family time or if it feels like it’ll cause too much stress for you.

4. Communicate with love. If you’re feeling stressed by interactions with family or others, take a breather. You might go outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air. Be kind to everyone, including yourself. Give hugs. Make sure you’re not overreacting. None of us communicate perfectly. Try to see what others really mean, not just what they say. Give them the benefit of the doubt because it’s likely no offense was meant. Ask for clarification and react appropriately, with kindness, love and forgiveness. Some people really don’t have a handle on their behavior but it doesn’t have to affect how you feel or be your problem.

5. Choose Your Emotions: Most people have this mistaken belief that our emotions choose us; that we are at the mercy of whatever emotions we tend to start feeling. But the reality of it is, no matter what the circumstance is, we always are choosing our own emotions. It’s important to recognize that fact. You don’t always have control over what happens to you but you can choose to respond proactively.

6. Identify and release “trapped emotions,” unresolved feelings from past negative and traumatic events emotional baggage can cause us to make wrong assumptions, react emotionally and contribute to anxiety, depression and most forms of illness.

About Dr. Bradley Nelson

Dr. Bradley Nelson has lectured internationally on the natural healing of chronic illness and successfully treated patients from across the US and Canada for more than 20 years. Dr. Nelson has trained more than 3,200 practitioners worldwide on how to help people overcome unresolved anger, depression, anxiety, loneliness and other negative emotions and the physical symptoms associated them. He is one of the world’s foremost experts in the emerging fields of Bioenergetic Medicine and Energy Psychology. His bestselling book “The Emotion Code” is helping people all over the world to improve their lives. Download a free copy of The Emotion Code in both audio and .pdf versions, including step-by-step instructions for working with the body’s healing power at EmotionCodeGift.com or the app that works on iPhones, iPads and other Apple devices.

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Swimsuit model Kate Upton chats healthy living and weddings with Yahoo Styles

Kate Upton healthy living tips with Yahoo Styles. Here she is pictured in a blue bikini.
Kate Upton shares healthy living tips and chats about her wedding day plans with Yahoo Styles.

It’s wedding season and swimsuit model Kate Upton sat down with Yahoo Style’s recently to discuss her insecurities about wearing a bikini, her weight as well as her plans for her upcoming wedding. Here are some highlights from Upton’s interview:

Swimsuit Model Kate Upton Says She’s ‘Still Not Confident in a Bathing Suit’

Yes, even a super model like Kate Upton has body image insecurities. She says she is still not confident in a bathing suit. This is why she eats healthy and sticks to a work out routine to feel at her best. Upton says:

You always have struggles. It’s not like I always feel my best. Everybody has moments where they don’t feel confident in a bikini. It’s what we’re striving for: self-love. We work our way up. When I don’t feel my best, that’s OK.”

Yahoo Styles asked Upton is she trying to lose wait for her wedding day. The answer is no because she is not worried about a number. Why won’t Upton lose weight for her wedding? Here’s her complete answer:

“Honestly, because coming from the fashion world, weight — when I first started modeling — was very important. How much you weighed, how much you needed to lose, whatever it was…I’m not trying to be fit for a number on a scale. Whenever I’m happiest, I try to maintain that. I don’t need a number.”

Upton does not even stick to a strict diet. Instead, she tries to eat healthy, work out and keep up a healthy lifestyle. Upton does this because she wants to allow herself the freedom to enjoy what she eats. In the interview Upton admits “I weight-train, which also really helps raise my metabolism and gives me the ability to enjoy food.” 

Read the full interview at Yahoo Styles now to learn more about Upton’s healthy living, upcoming wedding and more.

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Study reveals financial prowess of singles ahead of Tax Day

Treat Yourself Tax Refund Gamut
Plenty of Fish Survey Shows Cars, Las Vegas and Getting Inked Dominate “Craziest Refund Spends” for singles when it comes to tax day refunds.

Tax Day is just around the corner and Plenty of Fish (POF), one of the largest global online dating companies, surveyed 3,000 singles across the U.S. to uncover the finer points of taxes and finances.

Key Findings

  • Only 11 percent of singles said they spend their tax refund, while 65 percent said they like to save some and spend some
  • When it comes to dating and money, 22 percent of women said they would not date someone who makes less money than them
  • More than 85 percent of singles said they tell the truth about how much they make, and fewer than 2 percent make less money than they claim to make
  • 38 singles spent their tax refund on a tattoo, with women out-inking men 22 to 16

Additional data and findings are available on this infographic, including the craziest things singles have spent their tax refund on (download graphic here).

Savvy Spenders and Savers

  • Nearly 26 percent of men said they save their tax refund, compared to less than 20 percent of women.
  • More than 34 percent of baby boomers save their tax refund, making them almost twice as likely to save their refund than any other age group.

Treat Yourself

When asked about the craziest thing singles have spent their refund on, write-in responses from them ran the gamut between practical and NSFW – and highlight a Mars versus Venus divide.

  • Car Parts: More than 190 men claimed their craziest tax return spend was on a car – the highest response by far.
  • Vegas Baby: Vacations made the top three, but Las Vegas hit the jackpot – 27 men and 8 women claimed this popular destination as their “craziest tax refund spend.”
  • Get Inked: 38 singles got tattoos with their refund, with women out-inking men 22 to 16.
  • Honorable Mention:24k gold grill for teeth, 10 gallons of beef jerky, skydiving lessons… and a horse.

Fast and Informed Filers

  • Twenty-eight percent of singles file their taxes in January, as soon as they get their forms, while fewer than 10 percent of singles said they file on Tax Day.
  • The fastest filers are 20-somethings: 35 percent said they are likely to file as soon as they get their forms, versus only 18 percent of baby boomers
  • When asked how they would rate their understanding of the tax filing process, 23 percent of singles said they had excellent knowledge, 34 percent said good and 33 percent said average.

Additional Tax Takeaways

  • On average, only four percent of men and women have looked at a partner’s tax return behind their back. Coming in at around five percent, men 35-44 and women 45-54 are most likely to peek.
  • The percentage of singles who have charitable write-offs increases in every decade of life – with only 27 percent of twenty-somethings taking advantage of this tax write-off, versus 54 percent of baby boomers.
  • More than five percent of men and almost eight percent of single women don’t file taxes.

For Most Singles, Money isn’t Everything

  • A whopping 89 percent of singles said they would date someone who made less money than them.
  • Women tend to be less forgiving on the financial front. More than 96 percent of men said they would date someone who makes less money than them, but nearly 22 percent of women said they would not date someone who makes less money than them.
  • Women 26-34 are most likely to date someone who makes less than them (83 percent), compared to other female age groups.

For those ready to dive deep into financial conversations on their next date, Plenty of Fish can be downloaded for free from the Google Play and iTunes stores. For more details on the survey view here.

About Plenty of Fish (POF)

Plenty of Fish (POF), a Match Group (MTCH) company, is one of the largest global online dating companies. Available in 11 languages and more than 20 countries, Plenty of Fish has more than 100 million registered users, with 65,000 new users signing up every day. Unlike many dating offerings today, POF is all about having great conversations. In fact, singles have more quality conversations on POF than any other dating app, which can lead to stronger connections, smarter matches and better dates. For more information, please visit here or download POF from Google Play or iTunes.

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How to end resentment towards your partner and have better sex

Do you hope for a better sex life? Are you no longer attracted to your partner? If yes, you may be carrying emotional resentment in your body. Energy Healing Educator & Program Developer Natalie Nelson uses her new Body Code expansion “Resonating Relationships: The Energy of Romance” to identify and heal the issues that are shutting you down and turning you off to your partner.

Is Resentment Making Your Partner Less Attractive to You?

True intimacy between partners takes trust and mutual feelings of safety. Holding onto past emotional traumas, however, can block us from being open to giving and receiving love. Some example sources of emotional trauma include:

  • Infidelity, whether from your current partner, a previous one or even from what you witnessed with your parents
  • Experiencing abuse, whether as a child or an adult
  • Witnessing abuse as a child or adult
  • Death of a partner or any other loved one

“These are just some of the traumas people experience that begin to shut us down when it comes to love,” according to Natalie. “And from there, resentment can build between partners… resentment over mismatched sexual desire, money issues, parenting disagreements and more.”

When she found herself in a failing marriage, Dr. Brad’s daughter Natalie Nelson—an integral part of this thriving family business—became inspired to create the “Resonating Relationships” to help those in challenging relationships to heal themselves so they could show up more fully and openly in their partnership.

“Resonating Relationships” is made up of two parts: an evaluation guide and a session guide.  During the evaluation portion, people answer a series of questions that pull personal details about their past and their experience of love and relationships into the conscious mind. In the session portion, the practitioner uses The Body Code (which includes The Emotion Code) to address and heal specific disharmony as it relates to relationship issues manifesting within the body.

“Having struggled in relationships myself and seeing a lot of people I know struggle in their relationships,” says Natalie, “I got really frustrated because I believe it shouldn’t be so difficult. So much of the reason why we struggle is because there are things going on inside of us that we’re just not aware of. We’re all just kind of feeling around, blindly trying to find some kind of balance in our relationships. With ‘Resonating Relationships,’ you can identify specific issues that you may never have honed in on before and bring them into consciousness. It taps into things that, for most people, have largely been unexplored.” For more information visit DrBradleyNelson.com and EmotionCode.TV.

About Natalie Nelson

Energy Healing Educator & Program Developer Natalie Nelson has spent more than 15 years studying, experiencing and teaching the powerful healing that is possible through The Emotion Code and The Body Code, created by her father, Dr. Bradley Nelson. A key member of this highly successful family business, Natalie brought The Body Code and The Emotion Code teachings into every aspect of her life. When she found herself in a failing marriage, she became inspired to create a new Body Code expansion program to help those in challenging relationships—including herself—to heal. Whether you’re single, dating, in a committed relationship or married, Natalie’s new system, “Resonating Relationships: The Energy of Romance,” can affect powerful change that heals individuals and couples from the inside out. In addition to being a certified and experienced Body Code and Emotion Code practitioner, Natalie is the facilitator of the official Body Code mentorship program where she guides and supports more than 3,000 practitioners. She currently resides in Salt Lake City, UT

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Francesca Miranda Couture: Powered by women; Empowered by a woman

Fashion design Francesca Miranda's response to A Day Without A Woman.
“To all the women in America on strike yesterday, to all the American immigrants like myself, I support you- because we should always have each other’s back, no matter where we are in the world.” – Xx Francesca Miranda

Companies and communities across America and around the world are powered by women. One of those companies is Francesca Miranda, which sells handmade gowns created by the talented hands of female artisans at its Barranquilla, Colombia headquarters. By employing nearly 40 full-time artisans, CEO Francesca Miranda’s atelier preserves traditional craftsmanship and empowers the artistic women in her community. Nearly 90% of the women employed by Miranda are considered head of household or “Cabezas de la Casa”, being primary income or sole income providers for their families.

EMPOWERED BY A WOMAN

Francesca Miranda is a renowned Latin American designer based in Barranquilla, Colombia. Drawing on the best of authentic craftsmanship and the diverse indigenous aesthetic around her, Francesca designs with a captivating sense of style and inimitable creativity. Detailed to perfection, the Francesca Miranda collection incorporates intricate fabrics and unique laces with unexpected silhouettes. Fromgirltogirl absolutely loves her creations. See her latest at FrancescaMiranda.com and follow Francesca Miranda on Instagram.

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Women’s March: ‘Right2Speak’ says don’t stay home – go make a difference

Are you ready to show up for feminism?
#WeShowUp … are you ready to show up for feminism?

Tomorrow, Wednesday, March 8, women across America will take part in the Women’s March Movement. However, while all the attention is being directed to this movement, there is a story that is not being told. The story is that these women do not represent the entire nation of women’s sentiment across America, in fact, they even seem to be in the minority. It is the story of the women of this nation who have been cast-aside in the clamor and rhetoric of the far-left.That is why a Right2Speak was born and there’s a movement.

The Right2Speak movement is comprised of women that are a counter-balance to the extremist voices attempting to represent women in the media. According to the Right2Speak organization, they stand for more than protests, the mob-think and the  stifling of free speech. They are voices of reason, integrity and liberty and love. Their three primary goals are:

  • To serve as a counterbalance to the far-left Women’s March & National “Day Without a Woman” strike (since they do not represent all women)
  • Infuse civility to counteract angry, extreme liberal female voices  on matters of policy and personal freedoms
  • Call for a return to uncensored free speech and an atmosphere where women can debate their differences without fear or threat

On March 8th, some are calling women to stay home.  To sit down. To not show up.  Some are saying that a Day Without a Woman will show the nation how important women are by sitting on the sidelines.  While these women are staying home, a group of women are standing up to make a difference.

The Right2Speak women will hold power lunch in key cities and share social media pics of how they are not taking the day off, but instead making a difference by saying that they ‘show up’. These women, will not just march but they will pick up a pen, pick up a community park, pick up a friend who is down. They will carry the load–even if just for an hour– for someone who is struggling at the end of their rope.  There are real issues that need to be addressed in this nation.  The Right2Speak is more than just slogans at a protest.  They know that to make a difference they must show up, be present, and give it their all at home, businesses and communities… not take the day off.

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