How To Remove Toxic Friendships & Toxic Lovers From Your Life

By Briana Booker

Life is about adaption, acceptance and rejection.  Sometimes we have to evaluate our lives in order to see what’s dragging us down and what’s uplifting us to be better people and do better things for ourselves and others. One necessary action, from time to time, is removing toxic relationships from our lives.

Toxic relationships can infiltrate every part of our lives if we allow them to have unchecked power. Toxic relationships know no boundaries and find pleasure making your life one huge festival of misery. The worst types of toxic relationships are toxic friendships and toxic romantic partners.

What are toxic friendships?

Toxic friendships are relationships where the word ‘friend’ is used liberally but those given the title take everything while giving nothing. These friends also require high demands of you but sets low standard for what they will bring to the relationship. In fact, those relationships are not friendships but situations where those titled as friends are really master manipulators. In no shape or form are these people willing to accept and follow through on the concept of giving and taking.

If this sounds like friends you have in your life, immediately drop the relationships like it’s hot. This includes removing their telephone numbers from your contact list and not arranging outings with these low lifes. It doesn’t matter if you have common friends. Real friends will always make time to interact with you at different times and not stir up gossip.

Eventually they will get the message you no longer want to continue the toxic friendships. Results: They will find another victim and leave you alone or they will mature and become a real friend.

Bottom line: Don’t wait for anyone to treat you better because if people wanted to be a good friend to you…they wouldn’t be inconsiderate. Good friends are simply good friends.  They don’t make excuses for being bad friends.

Don’t be available to those who lack commitment. Be too committed elsewhere to participate in toxic friendships. Eventually, you will meet real friends.

Speaking of being too available, remove that toxic romance out of your life as well. Yes, all romantic relationships have ups and downs but there comes a time where lack of commitment and lack of desire to resolve problems becomes intolerable. Arguments should never surpass a couple of days. Silent treatment should never be tactic to “win” an argument.

In romantic relationships, it’s about working through problems together and enjoying the good times together. No shape or form should one put in more effort than the other in making the relationship work. Checks and balances are a necessity.

If your relationship has any degree of emotional or physical abuse, you need to end your relationship with the person in a public place. Try a coffee shop or outdoor gathering.

Most egoistical people hate looking unfavorable in public so the person won’t make a scene. If you need to arrange to pick up any of your stuff, bring several people with you. This is for your safety. Don’t be foolish. You don’t know what state the person may be after the break up.

Once the break up is official and you have no personal property in the previous significant other possession, don’t take any text messages, emails or calls from the person. If the person threatens you, file a police report.

Remember people don’t change into better people unless they want to change into better people.

Move forward and never look back. These relationships are called toxic relationships because they are bad for physical, mental and spiritual health. Love yourself enough to know you can and will do better.

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How To Make a Man Want to Commit: Be Selective

By Briana Booker

Besides having a positive attitude and a life of your own, how do you make your man want to commit to you?

Fromgirltogirl is starting a series on what makes a guy want to commit to you. We will provide you advice on how to get him there without convincing him or playing the mind games.

Tip #1 Show Him You are Selective.

When you show a man you are selective and not every man in the world can have you but the “one”, you draw him closer to you. Men love the thrill of the chase. They love working for something worth having. Sex with a girl that he cares nothing about is like a snack before a holiday feast. It is just for now but he is really anticipating the feast, the big reward.

You can start drawing a man in by saying honestly where you stand on your attitude about relationships. Do not whine about him and what he has not offered yet. You will scare him away by appearing too needy.

Say something around the lines of the following commit reference:

“It is your right to date more than one woman at a time. I understand, but I want you to know I am looking for an exclusive relationship with the right man. I want to find out if we are on the same page before taking our dating further.”

AND NO, IF YOU HAVE BEEN DATING A GUY FOR LESS THAN A MONTH, please do not try the whole, I love you forever and a day. You have to commit to me.

These actions and words are controlling. Honestly, it takes 3 to 4 months on average for people to get out of the lust/ honeymoon stage of dating.

Notice in the statement you made no demands. Because you made no demands, you do not come off needy and unattractive. You are simply letting him know you have standards and you will stick to those standards. He NEEDS to meet those standards before YOU can decide to choose to be with him.

It is that simple. You are presenting him your needs and boundaries. Any man that truly wants you and does not want to lose you will respect that.

Trust me, the right man will ASK YOU for commitment.  And best of all he will think it was his idea the whole time and that he won your affection and passion.

If this does not happen, you know where you stand with him. He just is not that into you but that does not mean that will not change down the line.

But if he does not change( and please do not wait around for change), keep the door to your soul and effort open for someone ready to give you what you need and more. This is one of the stepping stones to forming an amazing and committed relationship.

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