Guest Bloggers, Women Empowerment

MANAGING THE FEAR AND ANXIETY OF THE UNKNOWN

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By: Stan Popovich

All most everybody worries about what will happen in the future. The prospect of not knowing if something good or bad will happen to you in the near future can produce a lot of fear and anxiety. As a result, here is a list of techniques and suggestions on how to manage this fear of dealing with the unknown.

Remember that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you are afraid of does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember that we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. When the time comes, hopefully you will have learned the skills to deal with your situation.

Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you’re playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.

Remember to take a deep breath and try to find something to do to get your mind off of you anxieties and stresses. A person could take a walk, listen to some music, read the newspaper, watch TV, play on the computer or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things. This will distract you from your current worries.

A lot of times, our worrying can make the problem even worse. All the worrying in the world will not change anything. All you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and when something does happen, take it in stride.  If you still have trouble managing your anxiety of the future, then talking to a counselor or clergyman can be of great help. There are ways to help manage your fear and all it takes is some effort to find those answers.

BIOGRAPHY:

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods” – an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/

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Black Community Empowerment, Fromgirltogirl Global world, Fromgirltogirl.com, Guest Bloggers

A REVIEW OF TECHNIQUES IN MANAGING DEPRESSION

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By Stanley Popovich

Some people have a difficult time in managing their depression.  Sometimes, their depression and fears can get the best of them.  As a result, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use to help manage depression.

One of the ways to manage your depression is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make you fearful or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, you are afraid that if you do not get that job promotion then you will be stuck at your job forever. This depresses you, however your thinking in this situation is unrealistic. The fact of the matter is that there all are kinds of jobs available and just because you don’t get this job promotion doesn’t mean that you will never get one. In addition, people change jobs all the time, and you always have that option of going elsewhere if you are unhappy at your present location.

Some people get depressed and have a difficult time getting out of bed in the mornings. When this happens, a person should take a deep breath and try to find something to do to get one’s mind off of the problem. A person could take a walk, listen to some music, read the newspaper or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things. Doing something will get your mind off of the problem and give you confidence to do other things.

Sometimes, we can get depressed over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket.  Whenever you feel depressed, open up your small notebook and read those statements.

Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice.  The more you practice, the better you will become.

The techniques that I have just covered are some basic ways to manage your depression, however your best bet is to get some help from a professional.

BIOGRAPHY:

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods” – an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to:http://www.managingfear.com/

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Black Community Empowerment, Black is Beautiful, Dating, Fromgirltogirl.com, Love, Women Empowerment

You Can Have A Ride No Where

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Reasons to pick a man with good character & you have self-love / self-confidence all along: See a car as a relationship. You’re driving & the man you’re seeing is in the passenger seat. If you & him always let fear & insecurity guide the wheel the car will veer out of control at high speeds. You’ll be in a frenzy & the sorry dude is just going to jump out the passenger seat to save his own ass. You’ll be left with your own demise. But when you let hope & love float it’s a smooth ride because God has the wheel. Which would you rather choose?

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Briana Booker, Dating, Fromgirltogirl.com, Love, Women Empowerment

He Is Not Your Best Girlfriend. He Is Your Man.

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By Briana Booker

In recent months, my thoughts on men have changed for the better. I have always been taught to be suspicious of every man. I have been told from men and women alike, that men “ain’t shit.” Although some men “ain’t shit” others, even with imperfections, are worth lowering the steel walls we, as women, build to protect ourselves.

Those steel walls can prevent us from finding a good man. I would know. I use to keep any intimate partner at a distance to keep “control” of the situation and protect my emotions.

Caring about someone can make you vulnerable if you have no idea where you stand with the person. You learn where you stand by communicating with your intimate partner.

Men and women communicate very differently from each other. The man in my life has taught me that we are different but also the same. Both are looking for the right one. We are also working on personal growth and our careers. Previously, that threaten me in relationships but to see this man grow as an individual is honestly beautiful to me. I want to look out for him. He goes out his way to protect me, even from myself.

An example of this was when I was mad at him not doing something when I wanted him to do it. He instantly asked me why I was mad. I honestly did not have a good reason to be mad besides not getting my way about something petty.

That is when I remembered a few weeks ago we promised each other we would not go to sleep angry at each other as an action  to build the strength of our relationship. I was the one who requested this action be done in our relationship and here I was trying to make an argument over something petty.

This is when I realized my actions matter to someone beyond myself. It was a scary thought but at the same time I felt my soul smile. I kissed him good night and he opened the door. I thought once I got to my car he would have just forgotten about me and went back to what he was doing in his home. Instead I saw him watching me from the window at the front door. I texted him “Why are  you looking out the window?”  He replies back while still looking through the window: “Ha. Just Checking to see if you were ok since you didn’t move.” I told him I could take care of myself. Again, I was falling into old habits from bad relationships with my “I don’t need you” persona I mastered in unhealthy relationships.

But then I realize, he is not my past but my present. So I just smiled and he checked up on me when I got home as well.  It felt good to not only be wanted but that I am cared for by someone who chose me.

I realized the best thing to do is live in the now. Do not linger in the past. And do not think too far in the future. If we are meant to be, then we will be.  We just can not jump to conclusions and keep communicating, even if we fear the unknown.

I was bruised but I was never broken. He shows me it is still okay to bring out the best in me.

For more lifestyle enrichment tips, news, community empowerment,advice, and freebies visit  our website Fromgirltogirl.com !

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How To Make a Man Want to Commit: Be Selective

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By Briana Booker

Besides having a positive attitude and a life of your own, how do you make your man want to commit to you?

Fromgirltogirl is starting a series on what makes a guy want to commit to you. We will provide you advice on how to get him there without convincing him or playing the mind games.

Tip #1 Show Him You are Selective.

When you show a man you are selective and not every man in the world can have you but the “one”, you draw him closer to you. Men love the thrill of the chase. They love working for something worth having. Sex with a girl that he cares nothing about is like a snack before a holiday feast. It is just for now but he is really anticipating the feast, the big reward.

You can start drawing a man in by saying honestly where you stand on your attitude about relationships. Do not whine about him and what he has not offered yet. You will scare him away by appearing too needy.

Say something around the lines of the following commit reference:

“It is your right to date more than one woman at a time. I understand, but I want you to know I am looking for an exclusive relationship with the right man. I want to find out if we are on the same page before taking our dating further.”

AND NO, IF YOU HAVE BEEN DATING A GUY FOR LESS THAN A MONTH, please do not try the whole, I love you forever and a day. You have to commit to me.

These actions and words are controlling. Honestly, it takes 3 to 4 months on average for people to get out of the lust/ honeymoon stage of dating.

Notice in the statement you made no demands. Because you made no demands, you do not come off needy and unattractive. You are simply letting him know you have standards and you will stick to those standards. He NEEDS to meet those standards before YOU can decide to choose to be with him.

It is that simple. You are presenting him your needs and boundaries. Any man that truly wants you and does not want to lose you will respect that.

Trust me, the right man will ASK YOU for commitment.  And best of all he will think it was his idea the whole time and that he won your affection and passion.

If this does not happen, you know where you stand with him. He just is not that into you but that does not mean that will not change down the line.

But if he does not change( and please do not wait around for change), keep the door to your soul and effort open for someone ready to give you what you need and more. This is one of the stepping stones to forming an amazing and committed relationship.

For more lifestyle enrichment tips, news, community empowerment,advice, and freebies visit  our website Fromgirltogirl.com !

Check us out on  Facebook  and Twitter !

 

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