Why people cheat: Filling the emotional voids

Emotional affairs and cheating correlate according to a new Ashley Madison study

Today Ashley Madison released a new study examining why people cheat. The main takeaway: besides sex, affair partners are helping cheaters fill emotional voids that spouses aren’t. Here are key findings from the study:

  • Cheaters found more affection (44%) and friendship (42%) w/ affair partners vs. spouses
  • Cheaters say affair partners helped them regain confidence (29%) and feel more desired (48%)

The full study has more interesting data. Here are highlights:

According to the survey, sex is the number one reason people choose to cheat (61%), but the other reasons also show a great deal about why some relationships experience infidelity. Cheaters are actively trying to fill a void in their lives, in their marriages, and in their relationships. Some want to expand the physical elements like exploring new desires (45%), while others are looking for emotional reassurance like affection (44%), friendship (42%) and the feeling of butterflies again (30%).

“The reasons why people cheat are very telling of the types of relationships that people find themselves in,” says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. “When sex and intimacy fade, often times monogamy becomes a struggle for our members but they don’t want to leave their partner altogether. Infidelity is an avenue for them to have certain needs met and stay happy in their primary relationship.”

Stray to Stay

Infidelity is often portrayed as an immoral act and is rarely looked at in a positive light. But the members of AshleyMadison.com aren’t necessarily looking to leave their spouse, they are looking to repair the emptiness that they are feeling. People find themselves in a family, in a loving marriage, in financial stability yet are lacking specific areas in those relationships. And that’s why sex comes up as a top reason for why people cheat. This doesn’t mean they’re looking to fully replace their spouse as 54% survey respondents are only seeking short-term dating. Furthermore, 50% of respondents said they cheat and not leave their spouse because they love their partner but are just looking for more sexual fulfillment.

As a result, survey respondents have revealed what it is they like about having affairs allows them to return to their marriage and their household unit as a happier more satisfied partner. Not surprisingly, for the majority it came down to the fact their sexual needs were met (76%).  For others it made them feel more alive (51%), they felt desired (48%), their emotional needs were met (37%), and they regained their confidence (29%). These are all areas of life that people need to feel secure and be happy, and they get that from finding what they need outside of the marriage when their partner is unable to give them that.

Sure cheating comes with some downsides like potentially getting caught. But for the members of AshleyMadison.com, they aren’t too worried about it. When asked, 71% of respondents said they don’t feel guilty about cheating on their partner, nor is it the top concern for cheaters when entering an affair. So when it comes to cheating, is the risk worth the reward? If the reward means being happy again, then it seems like the answer is yes.

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Best sex toys for Valentine’s Day: The mini bullet vibrator

Mini G Spot Vibrator for foreplay, masturbation and sex.
We have a 15% discount just for you. Scroll to the end of the article for the code. Share with friends.

From whips to bullet vibrators, the discussion of sex toys and overall sexual pleasure were topics to discuss behind closed doors. Lucky for us the world is changing and encourages us to think out loud about our deepest fantasies and so much more. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Fromgirltogirl is here to chat sex toys. Our new favorite on-the-go sex toy is the mini bullet vibrator.

About the mini bullet vibrator

Using a mini bullet vibrator has been on our bucket list for a while. We love that it is easy to use and carry around anytime we need it. Some may be surprised, but the mini is powerful for its size. The reason we decided to try the mini bullet is for clitoral stimulation, a favorite among sexual stimulation. But it can do so much more than a great orgasm.

Mini bullet vibrators are not solely for sexual pleasure. Feel free to use it for getting a massage. It feels great and gives better circulation of blood throughout the body. We even use it to relieve muscle pain and tension after working out.

The sex toy every woman should have

When we say every woman should have a mini bullet vibrator, we mean it. Here is what we love about it:

  1. It has the power to give an orgasm in less than 3 minutes. The mini bullet vibrator is especially intense for clitoral stimulation but the toy can stimulate any part of the body.
  2. The mini bullet vibrator can be used during sex as well as with other toys. One of the best ways to truly enjoy sex is to get to know your body. When you know your body, you know where you can reach the most pleasure and guide your sex partner to the right spots. Some favorite spots to use the mini bullet vibrator: the clitoris, nipples, and even the lower back.
  3. The toy is portable. Yes, go and toss your vibrator in your handbag. You may even store it in your pocket. Why? It is a stress reliever when you need it and you never know when you will need that relief. No, you don’t have to use it on your vagina all the time. Sometimes you just need to massage your head because you have a headache. What works for you is what counts.
  4. It makes for a great couples sex toy. For example, you can insert the mini bullet vibrator at the base of dildos, anal toys, or cock rings to offer vibration.

The mini bullet vibrator we got is easy to use, discrete.  Watch the video below to learn more about the benefits:

 Exclusive discount just for you

The Mini Bullet Vibrator in this review was provided by Love it right. If you would like to purchase your own use the coupon code SEX15 for 15% OFF your order.

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Top 5 Favorite sex positions for men and women in 2018

top sex positions among cheaters

Ashley Madison reveals what makes extramarital sex so hot.

This week, Ashley Madison ,the world’s leading married dating website, a new study examining sexual preferences with spouses vs. affair partners. The results: affair partners are more daring and generous in bed.

Key Findings

  • 53% never try new sex positions with their spouse while 93% try them with their affair partner
  • Only 38% use sex toys with their spouse while two-thirds (65%) do so with their affair partner
  • 62% say their spouse performs oral on them but 94% say their affair partner gives them oral

Is doggy style a top sex position?

 

Here are ways cheaters keep it sexy in the sack with these 5 positions

When it comes to extramarital affairs, is the sex hotter because desire and risk intersect? Does forbidden sex translate to more experimental sex? Ashley Madison  surveyed a sample of its members to find out how they shake it up between the sheets with their affair partner, how this compares to sex with their spouse, and how men and women differ when it comes to seeking pleasure.

Doggy-Style Is Best in Show

When surveyed members were asked to name their favourite sex position, doggy-style took the top spot for men (53%) and women (57%).  For men, this was followed by cowgirl (woman on top) at 37% and the more basic missionary (man on top) at 36%. Missionary took second place (33%) for women followed by the more nimble legs over the shoulder position (28%).

 

Top 5 Favorite Sex Positions For Males

  • Doggy-style – 53%
  • Cowgirl – 37%
  • Missionary – 36%
  • Sixty-nine – 31%
  • Legs over the shoulder – 30%

Top 5 Favorite Sex Positions For Females

  • Doggy-style – 57%
  • Missionary – 33%
  • Legs over the shoulder – 28%
  • Cowgirl – 25%
  • Legs up – 25%

 red lipstick and sexuality

Are surveyed members actually getting what they like? Not surprisingly, when asked what sex position they perform the most with their spouse the more basic missionary position ranked highest (60%). But when it comes to an extramarital partner, the most performed position is doggy-style (56%), followed by missionary (38%) and the cowgirl position (36%). Since doggy-style is the preferred position for females, it’s no wonder 83% said they are able to reach climax with their extramarital partner.

Playing inside (and outside) the marital bedroom

A lack of inhibition is much more common in extramarital encounters because they allow people to break out of their routine with someone they may or may not see again. That’s likely why 53% of respondents refrain from trying new sex positions with their spouse while 93% say they do try with their extramarital partner. It seems there is a greater willingness to infuse more adventure and creativity into their affair rather than improving the sex inside their marriage.

When it comes to play inside the bedroom, 38% admit to using sex toys with their spouse while more than half (65%) say they do so with their affair partner. As for roleplay, 16% engage in role play with their spouse compared to 48% engaging in role play with their extramarital partner.

What about giving and receiving? Almost three-quarters (74%) of respondents perform oral sex on their spouse with 62% saying their spouse performs oral sex on them. However, a whopping 90% say they perform oral sex on their extramarital partner with a further 94% saying their extramarital partner performs oral sex on them. Although many have oral sex with their spouse, there is a clearly more occurring between respondents in their extramarital relationships.

When asked where they prefer to have sex, most respondents (88%) said they like the mix it up both having sex inside and outside of the bedroom.

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New report: cheaters won’t stop cheating in 2018 . Here’s why.

Cheating for cheaters

Whether you are a cheater or been cheated on,  cheaters won’t stop cheating in 2018. In a new report, Ashley Madison, the #1 website worldwide for married dating and affairs, polled 4,000 of its users to identify the top New Year’s resolutions among those with extramarital partners. Here are the top-3:

  • 34% say increasing the amount of new experiences with their extramarital partner
  • 31% say being healthier by eating better and exercising
  • 13% say spending more time with their extramarital partner

    Findings

    Bottom line:  The Ashley Madison data reveals that cheaters are planning more adulterous fun in the New Year.  At the end of the day cheaters are quite content with how their relationships (well, at least one of their relationships) are going and don’t need a resolution because of it. In this survey, 65% of respondents say they are either having an affair or pursuing an affair, of which 73% already have one extramarital partner, with 27% having multiple partners now.

Planning a New Year’s resolution is something that people do when they want to make a positive change in their lives, a change to make them happier, says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. Our members are showing us that they are already happy or on a pathway to finding happiness and that’s why they don’t feel the need to make a New Year’s resolution.

Check out more information at AshleyMadison.com.

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52% of cheaters say spouse not fit, motivation to cheat

Infidelity at the gym ... cheating
Ashley Madison data reveals that infidelity motivates higher levels of personal fitness.

Is getting into shape one of your new year’s resolutions? Don’t give up. Getting in shape is a big resolution each year and Ashley Madison , the world’s leading married dating website, surveyed its members to find out if their extramarital relationships motivated them to live a healthier lifestyle by exercising. The survey results show that cheaters are more likely to stay in shape while in an extramarital relationship.Here are key takeaways from their study:

  • 52% say their spouse isn’t fit and 58% say they wish their spouse exercised more
  • 70% say that their extramarital relationships actually motivate them to stay fit
  • 12% of women (vs. 9 % of men) use the excuse of ‘going to the gym’ to meet their extramarital partner

The findings also go into the top exercises that turn people on (male vs. female) and much more. Check it out below:

Nearly half (41%) of respondents exercise 2-5 times per week and 80% consider themselves to have an average level of physical fitness. But it’s not the new year’s resolutions that are keeping cheaters fit, 70% of survey respondents say it’s their extramarital relationships that motivate them. This goes both ways as 71% consider their extramarital partner to be fit and/or seek an extramarital partner that is fit. Not surprising because let’s face it, healthy is sexy.

But if they’re in search of someone who is fit, does this mean their spouse doesn’t fall into this category? The answer is yes with 52% saying they don’t consider their spouse to be fit and 58% saying they wish their spouse exercised more often.

Working out or “Working out”?

Gyms are noticeably busier in January, bringing new people together and more wandering eyes. In a previous survey of Ashley Madison members, going to the gym was the fifth most common excuse for men (9%) and women (12%) when planning to meet with their extramarital partner. However, in a recent survey done of Ashley Madison members, when cheaters do go to the gym 73% say they are there strictly to exercise and not to seek an extramarital partner. Moreover, 72% are not likely to exercise with their spouse or their secret partner.

Even though they aren’t consciously seeking an affair at the gym, it doesn’t mean there aren’t certain exercises that work as a turn on for gym goers. The top exercise that turns people on most is yoga/stretching (51%), followed by squats (19%).

Top exercises that turn people on the most when someone else performs them

  • Yoga/stretching – 51%
  • Squats – 19%
  • Other – 13%
  • Bicep curls – 6%
  • Stationary bike – 3%

 

Female

  • Other – 26%
  • Yoga/stretching – 22%
  • Bicep curls – 19%
  • Squats – 16%
  • Tricep pull-down -7%
  • Jump rope – 5%
  • Stationary bike – 3%
  • Lunges – 2%
  • Pilates Machine – 1%

Male

  • Yoga/stretching – 59%
  • Squats – 20%
  • Other – 9%
  • Stationary bike -3%
  • Lunges – 3%
  • Jump rope – 2%
  • Bicep curls – 2%
  • Tricep pull-down – 1%
  • Pilates machine – 1%

-30-

*Survey of 1,112 members of Ashley Madison between January 3, 2018 – January 4, 2018.

** Survey of 1,491 members of Ashley Madison between October 4, 2017- October 13, 2017.

 

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What to say when someone hurts your feelings and not hide your truth

How to react when someone hurts your feelings

Ava Miles, who has recently released a new series of non-fiction books, is helping women let themselves be more comfortable expressing their inner goddesses. Miles shares with us on how to handle and what to say when someone hurts our feelings through her series The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman. If you read “Goddesses Don’t Do Drama: Removing Toxicity from Relationships,”which is one of the books from the series, it helps people get through relationship moments when they are feeling hurt or angry.

It takes courage to go from hurt to healing. What’s one of Ava’s secrets in knowing what to say when someone hurts your feelings? Transforming unhealthy relationship patterns.

According to Miles, many of us never learned how to express anger and sadness. Sometimes that may be the case because we are encouraged not to do so. We simply don’t know how to say things kindly when we’re upset. And sometimes it can make us physically ill and unhappy.

“You don’t have to walk away or wait until after the ‘f*ck you’ to speak your truth,” says Miles. It all begins with recognizing and removing victim/perpetrator language from the conversation.

What Is Victim/Perpetrator Language?

Here are some examples:

  • It’s all your fault.
  • You did this.
  • You’re to blame for this.
  • You’re wrong.
  • You’re not giving me enough.
  • This isn’t good enough.
  • You’re not pulling your weight.

Victim/perpetrator language is the language of drama. In order to get to the open-hearted, honest, loving communication we all crave — we need to begin to recognize and move away from the raised-voice or talk-to-the-hand variety. Ava invites us all to try our hand at goddess-woman language by using statements such as:

  • I feel…
  • What I think I hear you saying is…
  • This is hard for me to say, but I’d like to share this with you…
  • This doesn’t feel very loving or kind to me.
  • I want to understand.
  • My feelings are my responsibility.
  • I take responsibility for my part in _______.

“Goddess women use words that convey love, compassion, kindness, affirmation, and honesty,” says Miles. “Sure, we all have moments when we might not be able to package our feelings and thoughts into a big red bow, and that’s okay. We can be honest about that too.”

Learn more information by visiting  www.AvaMiles.com.

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How and what to talk to your daughter about sex

Photographer Kathia Zolfaghari takes photo of Ava Miles on couch as Miles talks about sex.
Ava Miles shares tips on how to talk about sex with daughters. Photo Credit: Kathia Zolfaghari

Have a pre-teen or teenage daughter(s)? Let’s talk about sex. What are you telling your daughter(s) about sex? Ava Miles, author of the book series “The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman” discussed with us about the important points to make when talking about sex:

What Are You Teaching Your Daughter About Sex?

According to surveys conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, teens say parents are the biggest influence when it comes to their decisions about sex. What are parents telling their kids about sex? What are they telling their daughters?

Female sexuality is taboo in cultures and societies throughout the world but should we convey those views to our daughters. Miles encourages parents to look at the language they use around sexuality with their children, specifically their daughters. Here are some questions parents should ask each other:

  • Are you using fear-based language?
  • Are you using shame-based language?
  • Are you talking about sex as something purely functional?
  • Or are you sharing information about how sex can be fun, joyful and connected?

When talking with your daughters about sex, have the focus be on developing them into strong women who practice healthy sex and overall happy lifestyle. Positive sex lives begin with how parents present sex to their daughters and sons.

Miles wants all women and girls to identify with their innate goddess nature, and part of that entails creating joy and comfort around their own sexuality. You can learn more about how to start and continue the discussion by visiting AvaMiles.com.

About Ava Miles

 Ava Miles is an international bestselling author with a B.A. in Rhetoric and Technical Writing as well as Spanish. She also has two graduate degrees, one in International Peace Studies and another in Political Science.

Using her degree, Miles spent many years traveling the world and sharing her gifts with women and men in war-torn countries, helping them to rebuild and reintegrate their communities amidst intense struggle. She has managed multi-million-dollar projects and multi-national teams of people in the private sector, in non-profits and in domestic and international agencies as well as multilateral organizations such as the United Nations.

Now, she brings that experience together with her passion for sparking joy and personal success in people’s lives, launching an all-new series of life-fulfillment books called “The Goddess Guides to Being A Woman.” With seven books in total, “The Goddess Guides” invites readers to reimagine what it means to be a modern woman—on their own terms.

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How to cut out relationship drama: Ava Miles’ guide to being a woman

Ava Miles photographed by Karthia Zolfaghari.
Photo Credit: Kathia Zolfaghari

No matter social status, race, gender or religion, we all experience relationship challenges from time to time but there’s a hidden cause behind relationship drama and a way to end it once and for all.

International bestselling author Ava Miles, whose brand new book series “The Goddess Guides to Being a Woman” was released in August to discuss ways to remove relationship drama. Many people say they want less drama in their lives, but how many of us are actually able to identify when we are active participates on the drama and make a different choice to avert that drama?

Miles states the underlying cause of relationship drama is victim/perpetrator language … it is its own communication style, a negative style of communication. The core of the language uses guilt, shame, and manipulation to bring about desired results —classic perpetrator-style. It objectifies the parties involved, casts blame and takes no personal responsibility, and creates explosive and intractable conflict in relationships. It divides couples and prevents them from having loving interactions with others, including the people in our own family, home life, workplace, and community.

If you are living in a drama-filled relationship battered by toxic communication, you have to recognize what is going on. Here are the common strategies or phrases people use in relationships that continuously feed on drama:

* You never do anything special for me
* You always say you’re going to do it and then you don’t
* You always forget about me
* You’re not giving me enough
* You’re not pulling your weight
* This isn’t good enough
* I need more from you
* I want more from you
* This isn’t working
* I need you to do better than this

Miles says, “Goddess women speak differently. The words we use not only convey our deepest feelings and thoughts, but also our divine nature. As a goddess woman, we want to use words that are loving and kind because it’s who we truly are. We speak from our hearts. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable when saying something doesn’t come easily, when it’s a little scary to share this much of ourselves.”

Here are some examples of goddess woman language:
* I feel…
* That makes me feel like…
* What I think I hear you saying is…
* This is hard for me to say, but I’d like to share X with you…I’m not sure how to say this…
* I want to share with you
* I want you to share with me
* Can we be totally honest here?
* This doesn’t feel very loving or kind to me
* I want to understand
* My feelings are my responsibility
* I take responsibility for my part in X

For more information, visit AvaMiles.com.

About Ava Miles

International bestselling author Ava Miles calls herself a divine rockstar—something she believes everyone is deep down. With a B.A. in Rhetoric and Technical Writing and Spanish and two graduate degrees, one in International Peace Studies and another in Political Science, Ava Miles spent many years traveling the world and sharing her gifts with women and men in war-torn countries, helping them to rebuild and reintegrate their communities amidst intense struggle. She has managed multi-million-dollar projects and multi-national teams of people in the private sector, in non-profits and in domestic and international agencies as well as multilateral organizations such as the United Nations. Now, she brings that experience together with her passion for sparking joy and personal success in people’s lives, launching an all-new series of life-fulfillment books called “The Goddess Guides to Being A Woman.” With seven books in total, “The Goddess Guides” invite us all to reimagine what it means to be a modern woman—on our own terms.

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Study reveals financial prowess of singles ahead of Tax Day

Treat Yourself Tax Refund Gamut
Plenty of Fish Survey Shows Cars, Las Vegas and Getting Inked Dominate “Craziest Refund Spends” for singles when it comes to tax day refunds.

Tax Day is just around the corner and Plenty of Fish (POF), one of the largest global online dating companies, surveyed 3,000 singles across the U.S. to uncover the finer points of taxes and finances.

Key Findings

  • Only 11 percent of singles said they spend their tax refund, while 65 percent said they like to save some and spend some
  • When it comes to dating and money, 22 percent of women said they would not date someone who makes less money than them
  • More than 85 percent of singles said they tell the truth about how much they make, and fewer than 2 percent make less money than they claim to make
  • 38 singles spent their tax refund on a tattoo, with women out-inking men 22 to 16

Additional data and findings are available on this infographic, including the craziest things singles have spent their tax refund on (download graphic here).

Savvy Spenders and Savers

  • Nearly 26 percent of men said they save their tax refund, compared to less than 20 percent of women.
  • More than 34 percent of baby boomers save their tax refund, making them almost twice as likely to save their refund than any other age group.

Treat Yourself

When asked about the craziest thing singles have spent their refund on, write-in responses from them ran the gamut between practical and NSFW – and highlight a Mars versus Venus divide.

  • Car Parts: More than 190 men claimed their craziest tax return spend was on a car – the highest response by far.
  • Vegas Baby: Vacations made the top three, but Las Vegas hit the jackpot – 27 men and 8 women claimed this popular destination as their “craziest tax refund spend.”
  • Get Inked: 38 singles got tattoos with their refund, with women out-inking men 22 to 16.
  • Honorable Mention:24k gold grill for teeth, 10 gallons of beef jerky, skydiving lessons… and a horse.

Fast and Informed Filers

  • Twenty-eight percent of singles file their taxes in January, as soon as they get their forms, while fewer than 10 percent of singles said they file on Tax Day.
  • The fastest filers are 20-somethings: 35 percent said they are likely to file as soon as they get their forms, versus only 18 percent of baby boomers
  • When asked how they would rate their understanding of the tax filing process, 23 percent of singles said they had excellent knowledge, 34 percent said good and 33 percent said average.

Additional Tax Takeaways

  • On average, only four percent of men and women have looked at a partner’s tax return behind their back. Coming in at around five percent, men 35-44 and women 45-54 are most likely to peek.
  • The percentage of singles who have charitable write-offs increases in every decade of life – with only 27 percent of twenty-somethings taking advantage of this tax write-off, versus 54 percent of baby boomers.
  • More than five percent of men and almost eight percent of single women don’t file taxes.

For Most Singles, Money isn’t Everything

  • A whopping 89 percent of singles said they would date someone who made less money than them.
  • Women tend to be less forgiving on the financial front. More than 96 percent of men said they would date someone who makes less money than them, but nearly 22 percent of women said they would not date someone who makes less money than them.
  • Women 26-34 are most likely to date someone who makes less than them (83 percent), compared to other female age groups.

For those ready to dive deep into financial conversations on their next date, Plenty of Fish can be downloaded for free from the Google Play and iTunes stores. For more details on the survey view here.

About Plenty of Fish (POF)

Plenty of Fish (POF), a Match Group (MTCH) company, is one of the largest global online dating companies. Available in 11 languages and more than 20 countries, Plenty of Fish has more than 100 million registered users, with 65,000 new users signing up every day. Unlike many dating offerings today, POF is all about having great conversations. In fact, singles have more quality conversations on POF than any other dating app, which can lead to stronger connections, smarter matches and better dates. For more information, please visit here or download POF from Google Play or iTunes.

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