| Often a person wants to learn about his/her/their Love Language. But what is your Erotic Language? Have you heard of the five lust languages? The five love languages, which describe different ways to express care and support in a relationship are physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service. What Is A Lust Language? Just as love languages are intended to help us understand how we give and receive love, lust languages offer insight into the myriad ways we experience arousal. Lust languages, called “erotic blueprints,” are less well-known than love languages but are just as important when it comes to sexual satisfaction. Your lust language is comprised of all the things that turn you on and off. Knowing your lust language can help boost your self-awareness in the bedroom, improve communication between you and your partner, and give you a better understanding of what excites you — and why. Certain elements of the four lust languages are inherently sexual, but many are not. Arousal happens in both the body and mind, and is not merely a reaction to physical pleasure. When you understand your lust language, you equip yourself with the self-awareness to ask your lover for what you want in an effective way. The more your partner knows about your lust langage, the more prepared they are to please you. That’s why learning your lust languages together is a great intimacy-building exercise for couples. What are erotic blueprints, and how do you know which one applies to you? Sex experts at delicto.com discuss erotic blueprints and how they can dramatically enhance your sex life. Here’s a closer look at each lust language: Romantic The romantic lust language is all about being wined and dined. Setting the mood is crucial, as it demonstrates a level of effort that makes a partner feel wooed, wanted, and appreciated. A homemade meal followed by a sensual bubble bath, for example, can be a great way to supercharge arousal and prime the romantic type for a full night of fun. The road to a romantic’s heart is paved with notes, pet names, and private, personal gifts. They love surprises, particularly acts of passion that show they’re always on their lover’s mind. Romantic types also love verbal play, so feel free to lay on the sexy words of affirmation. Whether it be sweet nothings over text or intimate talk between the sheets, this lust language responds well to compliments, flirtation, and verbal displays of desire. Harmonious The harmonious lust language is like the sexy sibling of the “acts of service” love language. This one centers around support and shared responsibility. If your lust language is harmonious, you feel like you need to be “on the same team” with your partner to feel truly safe and experience uninhibited arousal. The harmonious type might find it difficult to become aroused if their partner neglects a household chore or forgets to fulfill a promise. They’re more likely to feel ready for action if they come home to clean dishes, bathed kids, and folded laundry. This doesn’t mean that they’re literally turned on when they hear the vacuum, but for them, desire is sparked by a partner who lightens their load and shares their goals. Primal Take everything you’ve learned about the connected lust language and flip it around — that’s the primal type. Passion and living for the moment are the preferred methods of intimacy for this lust language. Excitement and novelty are key to the primal type’s arousal, and a strong physical connection is a must. Those with a primal lust language might also be into kinks, fetishes, or other taboo forms of play, but not necessarily. One thing that is mandatory is skin-to-skin contact. Primal types feel most aroused by the warmth of their partner’s body and the stimulation of their touch. An emotional connection may be present, but is not needed for a good time. What Is An Erotic Blueprint? The concept of an erotic blueprint was coined by somatic sexologist and educator Jaiya, who has spent decades researching the science of arousal and pleasure. According to Jaiya, an erotic blueprint is a map to what turns you on, steamy guidebook to your primary sexual style. ”Just as love languages are intended to help us understand how we give and receive love, erotic blueprints can offer insight into the countless ways we experience arousal. Your erotic blueprint is made up of all the things that turn you on and off. Knowing your erotic blueprint can help boost your self-awareness in the bedroom, improve communication between you and your partners, while giving you a better understanding of what excites you and why. What Are The Five Erotic Blueprints? There are five erotic blueprints: sensual, sexual, energetic, kinky, and shapeshifter. Most people identify with one or two erotic blueprints more than the others, but it is common to relate to certain aspects of all of them. The blueprint that resonates with you the most is your primary erotic blueprint, the style that reflects your biggest turn-ons. What Are The Four Lust Languages? There are four lust languages: romantic, harmonious, connected, and primal. You might identify with elements of all four lust languages, but if one in particular made you stand up and take notice, that’s your primary language. Here’s the low-down on each erotic blueprint:Sensual. The sensual erotic blueprint is all about igniting the senses. What you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch is key when it comes to feeling aroused. If you have a sensual erotic blueprint, you’re more likely to be particular about your environment when you have sex. Aromatic candles, a warm bubble bath, and a tidy bedroom are all things that can make the sensual type feel turned on and ready for action. Someone with a sensual erotic blueprint might also like to explore stimulation in areas of the body aside from the genitals. Other erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, backs of the knees, and ear lobes are all potential kryptonite for the sensual type. Sexual. This straight-to-the-point erotic blueprint is laser focused on nudity, orgasm, and the genitals. If you have a sexual blueprint, seeing a picture of your naked lover might be all you need to go from zero to 100 on the arousal meter. If your partner has a sexual erotic blueprint, it doesn’t mean you should put less effort into turning them on, it is just easier to do. Taking off their clothes (or your own), touching them, and kissing them could be a surefire path to arousal, regardless of your surroundings. Whereas a sexual type might not mind making love in a cluttered room, the sensual type could find arousal elusive. When it comes to the sexual erotic blueprint, physical. Energetic. For those with an energetic blueprint, anticipation is everything. It’s the longing that revs the engine of the energetic type, making foreplay particularly important for this style.Teasing, flirting, and building excitement for the sex to come is almost as arousing as the sex itself. That is why sexting can be a go-to arousal tool for the energetic. Getting hyped up via sexy texts and pictures before a face-to-face encounter can ensure an ultra-horny hook-up. Kinky. The kinky erotic blueprint revolves around what polite society typically deems taboo or sexually deviant. People with this style often explore role play and detailed sexual fantasies that depart from the “vanilla,” or mainstream.Wax play, bondage, and experimenting with power dynamics may all be found in the kinky type’s arsenal of arousal. While folks in this category might not need kink to become aroused, exploring these desires can help them experience deeper, more intense excitement. Shapeshifter. This style brings a little of every blueprint to the table because the shapeshifter feeds off the energy of their partner and often derives the most pleasure from seeing them turned on.The shapeshifter is very adaptable and intuitive and can weave in and out of each sexual style in response to their partner’s arousal. Of the five erotic blueprints, there might be one or two that you relate to most. Even if you’re still exploring what excites you, an understanding of erotic blueprints can help you pay attention to how your unique sexuality works, and what is at play when you feel most aroused. Erotic Blueprint Turn-Offs. An awareness of what turns your partner off is just as important as knowing what turns them on. Knowing your own turn-offs can help you communicate your preference and limits. Here are some of the most common turn-offs for each erotic blueprint type: Sensual. If you’re a sensual type, your environment has a big impact on your ability to relax, focus, and feel desire. The wrong sensory input can distract you and bring arousal to a grinding halt. Some examples of make-or-break turn-offs for sensual folks are: 1. A messy room TV or music on in the background. 2. Odd smells in the air An aftertaste in your/your partner’s mouth from eating or smoking. 3. An environment that feels too warm or too cold. Sexual. Sexual types maintain a strong focus on nudity and the physical body. They are straightforward, direct, and as long as sex is on the table, easy to arouse. A few things that might turn off the sexual type are: Prolonged anticipation (if there is too much teasing), Insecurity about their body, A partner’s insecurity or inhibitions. Energetic. The energetic erotic blueprint centers around anticipation, which means you like to take things slow and build excitement. Here are some mood-killers for energetic types: Skipping foreplay, feeling rushed to orgasm, limited flirting before sex, or fear of dirty talk. Kinky. Kinky types are all about exploring the taboo. Some surefire ways to turn them off are: Disinterest in exploring kinks/fetishes Closed-mindedness or refusal to try sex toys due to vanilla sex. Shapeshifter. Any of the turn-offs listed above might apply to shapeshifters, too, but two things that might kill the mood are: Quiet lovers and lack of enthusiasm. Why Does Your Erotic Blueprint Matter? Learning about your partner’s erotic blueprint can mean the difference between guessing what will ignite arousal and knowing what will. When you understand your partner’s erotic blueprint, you are better able to curate the best sexual experience for your partner and self. Knowing your own erotic blueprint arms you with the self-awareness to communicate your wants and needs to a partner. It can also remind you that there is nothing “wrong” with you if you do not become aroused in a certain sexual situation. Remember: we all experience arousal differently. But that does not mean there is anything wrong with you or your lover. You may just have incompatible erotic blueprints. Taking the time to discover what turns you on and off can help you set boundaries in the bedroom and help you live your most authentic sex life, both solo and with partners. A spokesperson for delicto.com commented on the findings: “Keep in mind that, like your love language, your blueprint can shift over time as you move through different stages of life. Check-in with yourself and your partners periodically, and don’t forget that communication is always key to good sex, no matter what your erotic blueprint!” |
Why Does Your Lust Language Matter?
Learning about your partner’s lust language can mean the difference between guessing what will ignite arousal and knowing what will. When you understand your partner’s lust language, you are better able to create the best sexual experience for each other.
Knowing your own lust language arms you with the self-awareness to communicate your wants and needs to a partner. It can also remind you that there’s nothing “wrong” with you if you don’t become aroused in a certain sexual situation.
Remember: we all experience arousal differently. For example, if you know your partner has a harmonious lust language, going the extra mile to help with daily chores can make them feel more receptive to sexual intimacy. You can also better understand why your partner is not aroused in a messy bedroom surrounded by laundry you promised to put away.
Taking the time to discover what turns both of you on and off can help you set boundaries in the bedroom and live your most authentic sex life, both solo and together.
Final Thoughts
Remember your love language and lust languages can shift over time as you move through different stages of life. Do not forget that communication is always key to good sex, no matter your lust language.
This research was carried out by delicto.com, which is an information website on exploring pleasure, how-to guides, and a wide selection of careful curated sex toys and accessories.
