Own Your Voice To Get What You Want

As a woman, I am starting to learn if I want power over my personal and professional success I need to own my statements. I need to give my voice power. Young girls are taught to speak in a voice tone that is favorable to anyone and everything. It makes us come off timid and prevents us from getting what we want and need in romance and in our careers. So what is the solution? You can speak up for yourself but know when it is better be silent and listen, listening gains you wisdom about the situation. It will never lessen your power. Being the loudest and most arrogant can make you lose power rather than gain it. You can not win every battle, especially when it come to romantic conflicts. Pick your battles wisely. And most of all only apologize once, if at all. You do not have to apologize for having an honest opinion. You should apologize only once at the least and most, if you stated your honest opinion in a disrespectful way. Follow the golden rule. Be assertive( powerful verbals help but like, maybe, I think this might do not work) and do not be a bitch who has to have it her way or no way at all. When you take the bitch way, I can guarantee both your romance and career success will falter. – Briana Booker

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The White Minority

 

Aria Peace Corps Volunteer in St. Lucia discusses her experience being the White Minority


 By Aria Grabowski

I am a white girl, born in America. Although I have lived in a relatively diverse area my whole life, I always was in the majority. In many ways this left me oblivious to what it means to be a minority, to be surrounded by people that do not know what it is like to have the hair of a white person. This all changed when I started my Peace Corps service and my new nickname became white girl.
I moved to a community where I was the only white person. For some of the people in the community, I was the only white person they had ever talked to in life.

In my community most people were filled with questions and amazement about my whiteness. Yes, my scalp is really white like paper. No, my hair did not come from a doll. Yes, I turn red if I stay in the sun too long. Yes, if you press my skin it will briefly change color. I do not know why my veins are that color and no I do not poop white.

Aria with the women of St. Lucia
Aria with some of the female teachers at the primary school in St. Lucia.

At first, I found the questions, poking, and petting extremely annoying. I do not think anyone wants a stranger on the bus touching their hair. But then I realized these actions were usually not coming from a place of hate or malice. It was coming from a lack of knowledge.

I quickly realized that I not only represented Americans and the Peace Corps. I also represented white people. I needed to do everything possible to help people understand that all white people are not tourists, rich, greedy, or cheap. Not all white women are easy. We are different from black people physically.  So when people asked me questions, no matter how crazy, I tried to be patient, understanding and answer questions.

Even with all my attempted patience and understanding, I realized in some way it affected how I viewed interactions with people, especially people I did not know well.

 

The Pole Vault St. Lucia Team Aria Grabowski coached during her Peace Corps Volunteering.

I frequently found myself thinking someone was treating me in a certain way because I was white.  If a guy hit on me, I just assumed it was because I was white and a possible visa. This view came from receiving more marriage proposals from strangers than I could count. It also cam from the phrase ‘I like to see your color’ being a frequently used pick-up line. Obviously, every guy I met was not interested in that, but how could I tell?

There were other times people would try to charge me more for things and I always assumed this was because I was white. The people thought I did not know better. They thought I was rich so it was okay to rip me off. But maybe these were honest mistakes?

Then there were times people would ask me to buy stuff for them. Again, I just assumed it was because I was white and by default rich. If I did not buy, I would be labeled cheap and greedy.

As time went on, it occurred to me that their actions may not have had to do with my whiteness.  It may have been based on the fact that it seemed like I had my life together, and by default, must have money.

I started to notice that I had a slight chip on my shoulder about being treated differently just because I was white. I was never certain whether I was treated this way because I was white or I was not white. It made me realize how hard it must be for minorities in the states – always wondering if that interaction was due to race and never being able to know if it was or was not.

Sadly, from my experience it seems like the only thing that can be done, is to get thick skin. Try to be patient and understanding. Try to fight ignorance, no matter how exhausting and hard it may be.  I hope that one day things will be different.  Granted that is easy for me to say because my experience being a minority lasted only 2+ years and for the most part did not have hatred attached to it.

 

By Aria Grabowski

Aria Grabowski wrote this article to discuss her experience being a minority for 2+years.She served as a peace corps volunteer in St. Lucia from Feb 23 2009-May 28 2011.

Fromgirltogirl Discussion: How do you think we can promote more patience, understanding, and acceptance of different cultures and people in communities around the world?

For more lifestyle enrichment tips, news, community empowerment,advice, and freebies visit  our website Fromgirltogirl.com !

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The Year of The Weight Lifter

strongBy Briana Bookerv/strong I came to the realization that I am no longer 17 years old. My body is not as fast as it use to be. My body is not as slim as it use to be. But here I stand as the best woman I have ever been thus far. I guess it is true, looks are not everything. Although I am aging, I still want to keep up my health and appearance. I will never be someone that settles for letting myself go. I love myself. With that said, I would like to push myself to be better than my previous self by dedicating a few hours weekly to weight lifting. I am working on my core, which I notice is not as fit as it use to be. The love of my life ( or I would like to think he is the love of my life) thinks my new found curves are beautiful but I want the 17 year old me to travel with the wonderful woman I am becoming now. Who knows, I might just surpass the 17 year old me. I am up for the challenge. Stay tuned.

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How To Know If He is Your Man

Many women seek to have a man that is truly her man only. However, few get the happily ever after of “That’s my man…the love of my life.”

What I have learned in my 20’s I think will truly help a woman asking herself whether a man is really her man. Yes, it comes in the following statement:

 If you have to track him, he is not yours. A man that loves you,really loves you, you will never need to track him. Immature is a man that needs to gets tracked.

You are worth more than that. Never settle for it. Love will never come in this form…ever.

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Fromgirltogirl Image Consulting Services

Fromgirltogirl starting Feburary 2012 will be providing an Image Consultant Service.

We have the skills to successfully be your image consultants or visual branding specialist. As a woman, you need to present your very best to the world. A positive self image can get you that dream job, the love of your life and so much more! We are here to help you reinvent and update your look.

Our services consist of the following:

  • Personal Shopper.
  • Make-up Lessons.
  • Wardrobe consulting.

If you are a professional woman too busy to shop, a bride to be  planning her dream wedding or need to sharpen your image to get ahead at work, we are here to help you be successful.

 

Contact us today: brianabooker@fromgirltogirl.com

 

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The Power of Prayer

So one of my New Years resolutions is to pray more often. I decided I would pray at least 21 times a week. I did not want it to be prayers of need but prayers of thanks to God. I decided to do this after learning about Jesus continuously praying to God through out each day of his life. It inspired me. I am trying to grow my faith in God and myself. In the Bible it states through God all things are possible. I believe in it. For New Years Eve I sealed a wine bottle my loved ones( including my life partner)had a drink of wine. I put two leaves of my praying plant in the bottle. I put rolled up papers of everyones prayers in the bottle. I would like to think that God is listening. There is power in prayer. I am working on making it through the week. If I can make through the week, then I know I can commitment my faith. -strongBriana Booker, Founder of Fromgirltogirl via mobile./strong

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Religion Corner: Justification of War

Sometimes the text in religious books make me think. Tonight I was reading from the Bible and the Quran. There are rules to why Muslims should fight a war for Islam( defend life and defend land) and when to stop. Then in the Bible it says the same thing in Chapter 10 Matthew. To be honest the rules for war can be approved for both Christians and Muslims. Politics blended with religion. That is a mixture for disaster. In Matthew 10:34 Jesus discusses that his coming was not to bring peace to the world but a sword.

What is the purpose of war? Is war better than peace or used when peace fails to succeed to bring tolerance of each other?
What is so grand about war and violence? Why war? O_O

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Happy New Year 2012

2011 was full of ups and downs. I graduated school having no job to having a job. Went from having a cheater to having someone loving in my life. Went to White House and back. Life works in mysterious ways( will discuss my lessons from the challenges I faced in later articles). For now, I am sharing with you my bottle of blessings and prayers. I used a wine bottle my loved ones have consumed. I put piece of my praying plant in the bottle has well as blessing I have faith will come in 2012. It is uplifting to believe in better days. I hope you will join me. Happy New Year! – Briana Booker, Fromgirltogirl.com Founderbr /br /a href=https://www.fromgirltogirl.com/fromgirltogirl/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/20111231-164736.jpgimg src=https://www.fromgirltogirl.com/fromgirltogirl/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/20111231-164736.jpg alt=20111231-164736.jpg class=alignnone size-full //a

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