Why people cheat: Filling the emotional voids

February 9, 2018 No Comments

Today Ashley Madison released a new study examining why people cheat. The main takeaway: besides sex, affair partners are helping cheaters fill emotional voids that spouses aren’t. Here are key findings from the study:

Cheaters found more affection (44%) and friendship (42%) w/ affair partners vs. spouses
Cheaters say affair partners helped them regain confidence (29%) and feel more desired (48%)

The full study has more interesting data. Here are highlights:

According to the survey, sex is the number one reason people choose to cheat (61%), but the other reasons also show a great deal about why some relationships experience infidelity. Cheaters are actively trying to fill a void in their lives, in their marriages, and in their relationships. Some want to expand the physical elements like exploring new desires (45%), while others are looking for emotional reassurance like affection (44%), friendship (42%) and the feeling of butterflies again (30%).

“The reasons why people cheat are very telling of the types of relationships that people find themselves in,” says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. “When sex and intimacy fade, often times monogamy becomes a struggle for our members but they don’t want to leave their partner altogether. Infidelity is an avenue for them to have certain needs met and stay happy in their primary relationship.”

Stray to Stay

Infidelity is often portrayed as an immoral act and is rarely looked at in a positive light. But the members of AshleyMadison.com aren’t necessarily looking to leave their spouse, they are looking to repair the emptiness that they are feeling. People find themselves in a family, in a loving marriage, in financial stability yet are lacking specific areas in those relationships. And that’s why sex comes up as a top reason for why people cheat. This doesn’t mean they’re looking to fully replace their spouse as 54% survey respondents are only seeking short-term dating. Furthermore, 50% of respondents said they cheat and not leave their spouse because they love their partner but are just looking for more sexual fulfillment.

As a result, survey respondents have revealed what it is they like about having affairs allows them to return to their marriage and their household unit as a happier more satisfied partner. Not surprisingly, for the majority it came down to the fact their sexual needs were met (76%). For others it made them feel more alive (51%), they felt desired (48%), their emotional needs were met (37%), and they regained their confidence (29%). These are all areas of life that people need to feel secure and be happy, and they get that from finding what they need outside of the marriage when their partner is unable to give them that.

Sure cheating comes with some downsides like potentially getting caught. But for the members of AshleyMadison.com, they aren’t too worried about it. When asked, 71% of respondents said they don’t feel guilty about cheating on their partner, nor is it the top concern for cheaters when entering an affair. So when it comes to cheating, is the risk worth the reward? If the reward means being happy again, then it seems like the answer is yes.

Dating, Love, Sex

New report: cheaters won’t stop cheating in 2018 . Here’s why.

January 12, 2018 No Comments

Whether you are a cheater or been cheated on, cheaters won’t stop cheating in 2018. In a new report, Ashley Madison, the #1 website worldwide for married dating and affairs, polled 4,000 of its users to identify the top New Year’s resolutions among those with extramarital partners. Here are the top-3:

34% say increasing the amount of new experiences with their extramarital partner
31% say being healthier by eating better and exercising
13% say spending more time with their extramarital partner

Findings

Bottom line: The Ashley Madison data reveals that cheaters are planning more adulterous fun in the New Year. At the end of the day cheaters are quite content with how their relationships (well, at least one of their relationships) are going and don’t need a resolution because of it. In this survey, 65% of respondents say they are either having an affair or pursuing an affair, of which 73% already have one extramarital partner, with 27% having multiple partners now.

Planning a New Year’s resolution is something that people do when they want to make a positive change in their lives, a change to make them happier, says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. Our members are showing us that they are already happy or on a pathway to finding happiness and that’s why they don’t feel the need to make a New Year’s resolution.

Check out more information at AshleyMadison.com.

Fitness, Health, Sex

52% of cheaters say spouse not fit, motivation to cheat

January 11, 2018 No Comments

Infidelity at the gym ... cheating — **Ashley Madison data reveals that infidelity motivates higher levels of personal fitness.**

Is getting into shape one of your new year’s resolutions? Don’t give up. Getting in shape is a big resolution each year and Ashley Madison , the world’s leading married dating website, surveyed its members to find out if their extramarital relationships motivated them to live a healthier lifestyle by exercising. The survey results show that cheaters are more likely to stay in shape while in an extramarital relationship.Here are key takeaways from their study:

52% say their spouse isn’t fit and 58% say they wish their spouse exercised more
70% say that their extramarital relationships actually motivate them to stay fit
12% of women (vs. 9 % of men) use the excuse of ‘going to the gym’ to meet their extramarital partner

The findings also go into the top exercises that turn people on (male vs. female) and much more. Check it out below:

Nearly half (41%) of respondents exercise 2-5 times per week and 80% consider themselves to have an average level of physical fitness. But it’s not the new year’s resolutions that are keeping cheaters fit, 70% of survey respondents say it’s their extramarital relationships that motivate them. This goes both ways as 71% consider their extramarital partner to be fit and/or seek an extramarital partner that is fit. Not surprising because let’s face it, healthy is sexy.

But if they’re in search of someone who is fit, does this mean their spouse doesn’t fall into this category? The answer is yes with 52% saying they don’t consider their spouse to be fit and 58% saying they wish their spouse exercised more often.

Working out or “Working out”?

Gyms are noticeably busier in January, bringing new people together and more wandering eyes. In a previous survey of Ashley Madison members, going to the gym was the fifth most common excuse for men (9%) and women (12%) when planning to meet with their extramarital partner. However, in a recent survey done of Ashley Madison members, when cheaters do go to the gym 73% say they are there strictly to exercise and not to seek an extramarital partner. Moreover, 72% are not likely to exercise with their spouse or their secret partner.

Even though they aren’t consciously seeking an affair at the gym, it doesn’t mean there aren’t certain exercises that work as a turn on for gym goers. The top exercise that turns people on most is yoga/stretching (51%), followed by squats (19%).

Top exercises that turn people on the most when someone else performs them

Yoga/stretching – 51%
Squats – 19%
Other – 13%
Bicep curls – 6%
Stationary bike – 3%

Female

Other – 26%
Yoga/stretching – 22%
Bicep curls – 19%
Squats – 16%
Tricep pull-down -7%
Jump rope – 5%
Stationary bike – 3%
Lunges – 2%
Pilates Machine – 1%

Male

Yoga/stretching – 59%
Squats – 20%
Other – 9%
Stationary bike -3%
Lunges – 3%
Jump rope – 2%
Bicep curls – 2%
Tricep pull-down – 1%
Pilates machine – 1%

-30-

*Survey of 1,112 members of Ashley Madison between January 3, 2018 – January 4, 2018.

** Survey of 1,491 members of Ashley Madison between October 4, 2017- October 13, 2017.

Dating

How to forgive yourself after Cheating on your Partner

March 29, 2014 No Comments

Some people cheat without care, while others cheat because they felt unwanted. Anyone that watched last week’s episode of Scandal might have felt sympathy for Fitz on why he started to cheat on his wife Mellie. For years, I have always thought cheating was a choice. I still think it’s a choice no matter how you swing it,but I now understand that things can lead up to cheating. I believe there are levels of cheating and sometimes there’s room to forgive.

If you’re a cheater that’s been forgiven and you’re trying to get over the guilt of cheating on your partner, watch this video to help you through the healing process: