Love Yourself Enough to Walk Away From Being The Side Chick

Love Yourself Enough To Walk Away From Being A Side Chick.

Love yourself enough to walk away from being the side chick. You are worthy of REAL love.Valentine’s Day,TOMORROW, IS YOUR DAY TO SET YOURSELF FREE IN STYLE. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Don’t be taken advantage of anymore. If you haven’t been made a priority…the person won’t ever make you one. Love yourself enough to walk away.

 

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23 Reasons Why Black Men Who Respect and Love Women are Amazing

By Briana Booker

Although there have been some Black Men I have encountered  in my life…that did not carry themselves as wonderful Black Men, there are still amazing Black Men out there.

Rememeber ladies, a man cannot mistreat you without your consent. Stop settling for less than you deserve and carry yourself with respect. This will lead you to find a wonderful companion.

But this post is not about women, but how amazing a Black Man is when he respects and truly loves his woman. I came up with a list of 23 reasons why Black Men who respect and love women are amazing. Or at least this is why I love my Black man. Here is my list:

  1. A Black man skin is a luxury I should not be able to afford but I have the privilege to touch- thick, lush and sensuous. A Black man’s skin feels like velvet and satin that God made to caress me.
  2. A Black man is understanding. He knows what it is like to be the underdog yet remain confident in his capabilities.
  3. A Black man is respectful.
  4. A Black man will go to infinity and beyond to physically and spiritually satisfy you. The energy, style and edge are irresistible.
  5. A Black man is sexy because he knows how to make a woman feel sexy.
  6. A Black man is confident in his masculinity.
  7. A Black man knows how to be initimate when shown real love.
  8. A Black man has impeccable manners and charm when he wants to be valued.
  9. A Black man is highly intelligent.
  10. A Black man is driven to do and give his best to a woman he loves.
  11. A Black man is a hardworker.
  12. A Black man makes the best out of any bad situation.
  13. A Black man has a sense of humor.
  14. A Black man is supportive.
  15. A Black man is not ashamed of where he comes from.
  16. A Black man is strong physically, mentally, and spiritually.
  17. A Black man will be the first to help you in an emergency.
  18. A Black man is an excellent leader.
  19. A Black man has a natural rhythm in his soul to stay positive.
  20. A Black man proves through his actions he is misunderstood but stilll empowering.
  21. A Black man is a beautiful work of art from head to toe.
  22. A Black man is an originator.
  23. A Black man is love.

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Own Your Voice To Get What You Want

As a woman, I am starting to learn if I want power over my personal and professional success I need to own my statements. I need to give my voice power. Young girls are taught to speak in a voice tone that is favorable to anyone and everything. It makes us come off timid and prevents us from getting what we want and need in romance and in our careers. So what is the solution? You can speak up for yourself but know when it is better be silent and listen, listening gains you wisdom about the situation. It will never lessen your power. Being the loudest and most arrogant can make you lose power rather than gain it. You can not win every battle, especially when it come to romantic conflicts. Pick your battles wisely. And most of all only apologize once, if at all. You do not have to apologize for having an honest opinion. You should apologize only once at the least and most, if you stated your honest opinion in a disrespectful way. Follow the golden rule. Be assertive( powerful verbals help but like, maybe, I think this might do not work) and do not be a bitch who has to have it her way or no way at all. When you take the bitch way, I can guarantee both your romance and career success will falter. – Briana Booker

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The White Minority

 

Aria Peace Corps Volunteer in St. Lucia discusses her experience being the White Minority


 By Aria Grabowski

I am a white girl, born in America. Although I have lived in a relatively diverse area my whole life, I always was in the majority. In many ways this left me oblivious to what it means to be a minority, to be surrounded by people that do not know what it is like to have the hair of a white person. This all changed when I started my Peace Corps service and my new nickname became white girl.
I moved to a community where I was the only white person. For some of the people in the community, I was the only white person they had ever talked to in life.

In my community most people were filled with questions and amazement about my whiteness. Yes, my scalp is really white like paper. No, my hair did not come from a doll. Yes, I turn red if I stay in the sun too long. Yes, if you press my skin it will briefly change color. I do not know why my veins are that color and no I do not poop white.

Aria with the women of St. Lucia
Aria with some of the female teachers at the primary school in St. Lucia.

At first, I found the questions, poking, and petting extremely annoying. I do not think anyone wants a stranger on the bus touching their hair. But then I realized these actions were usually not coming from a place of hate or malice. It was coming from a lack of knowledge.

I quickly realized that I not only represented Americans and the Peace Corps. I also represented white people. I needed to do everything possible to help people understand that all white people are not tourists, rich, greedy, or cheap. Not all white women are easy. We are different from black people physically.  So when people asked me questions, no matter how crazy, I tried to be patient, understanding and answer questions.

Even with all my attempted patience and understanding, I realized in some way it affected how I viewed interactions with people, especially people I did not know well.

 

The Pole Vault St. Lucia Team Aria Grabowski coached during her Peace Corps Volunteering.

I frequently found myself thinking someone was treating me in a certain way because I was white.  If a guy hit on me, I just assumed it was because I was white and a possible visa. This view came from receiving more marriage proposals from strangers than I could count. It also cam from the phrase ‘I like to see your color’ being a frequently used pick-up line. Obviously, every guy I met was not interested in that, but how could I tell?

There were other times people would try to charge me more for things and I always assumed this was because I was white. The people thought I did not know better. They thought I was rich so it was okay to rip me off. But maybe these were honest mistakes?

Then there were times people would ask me to buy stuff for them. Again, I just assumed it was because I was white and by default rich. If I did not buy, I would be labeled cheap and greedy.

As time went on, it occurred to me that their actions may not have had to do with my whiteness.  It may have been based on the fact that it seemed like I had my life together, and by default, must have money.

I started to notice that I had a slight chip on my shoulder about being treated differently just because I was white. I was never certain whether I was treated this way because I was white or I was not white. It made me realize how hard it must be for minorities in the states – always wondering if that interaction was due to race and never being able to know if it was or was not.

Sadly, from my experience it seems like the only thing that can be done, is to get thick skin. Try to be patient and understanding. Try to fight ignorance, no matter how exhausting and hard it may be.  I hope that one day things will be different.  Granted that is easy for me to say because my experience being a minority lasted only 2+ years and for the most part did not have hatred attached to it.

 

By Aria Grabowski

Aria Grabowski wrote this article to discuss her experience being a minority for 2+years.She served as a peace corps volunteer in St. Lucia from Feb 23 2009-May 28 2011.

Fromgirltogirl Discussion: How do you think we can promote more patience, understanding, and acceptance of different cultures and people in communities around the world?

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The Year of The Weight Lifter

strongBy Briana Bookerv/strong I came to the realization that I am no longer 17 years old. My body is not as fast as it use to be. My body is not as slim as it use to be. But here I stand as the best woman I have ever been thus far. I guess it is true, looks are not everything. Although I am aging, I still want to keep up my health and appearance. I will never be someone that settles for letting myself go. I love myself. With that said, I would like to push myself to be better than my previous self by dedicating a few hours weekly to weight lifting. I am working on my core, which I notice is not as fit as it use to be. The love of my life ( or I would like to think he is the love of my life) thinks my new found curves are beautiful but I want the 17 year old me to travel with the wonderful woman I am becoming now. Who knows, I might just surpass the 17 year old me. I am up for the challenge. Stay tuned.

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How To Know If He is Your Man

Many women seek to have a man that is truly her man only. However, few get the happily ever after of “That’s my man…the love of my life.”

What I have learned in my 20’s I think will truly help a woman asking herself whether a man is really her man. Yes, it comes in the following statement:

 If you have to track him, he is not yours. A man that loves you,really loves you, you will never need to track him. Immature is a man that needs to gets tracked.

You are worth more than that. Never settle for it. Love will never come in this form…ever.

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My Thoughts on MLK Day

Happy Birthday Dr.Martin Luther King jr. Thank you for changing America for all people,not just Black people. When I was young people use to call it a black holiday and write excuse notes from ceremonies so their children wouldnt have to attend a black holiday. I hope now these same children pick up a book and learn what was accomplished and still needs to be accomplished. Dont continue the trends your parents promoted. I like to be a trend setter, not a follower. Please do service on Monday. Without the actions that were done I wouldnt have gone to schools i have attended with diverse people , minds and cultures. I wouldnt work around people I am glad I came across in my life. God bless everyone with knowledge. Knowledge is power and kindness is cure for all of mankind. -Briana Booker, founder of Fromgirltogirl

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