Race in America: Mixed, Black, and Everything in Between

I think for us it's so different because we're light skinned. You're not treated as a black woman, you're not treated as a black woman, you're not treated as a white woman. You sort of fit in between. If there's any time in my life that it's been more focused on my race. - Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex.
CNN Video : Duchess, Meghan Markle.

By Briana Booker
If you have not listened to the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle’s, new podcast Archetypes, you are living under a rock.

So far, my favorite episode of Archetypes is Meghan’s interview with Mariah Carey for many reasons. It’s not just about race. Mariah Carey is a survivor of poverty, abuse, and gossip. I fucking love you Mariah Carey. I am saying that with my 1997 Butterfly voice. It’s a must listen:

Mariah Carey Doubles Down on Calling Meghan Markle a ‘Diva’ — in the Most ‘Empowering’ Way

The Duchess of Sussex said “it stopped me in my tracks” when Mariah Carey called her a “diva.” Listen to the Archetypes podcast

#1 New York Times Bestseller: The Meaning of Mariah Carey

It’s a touchy topic. Over centuries skin color became mixed with status around the world. Black , Brown, and White skin complexions of Kings , Queens, and Princesses always existed in the world.  

I’ve had light skin , brown skin, and I tried  so hard to have dark skin because I saw highly intelligent, beautiful black women respected for their minds and beauty. But they were still mistreated due to racism and debate on who deserves high status but fair skin women ( white ) are mistreated too … just differently.

Regardless,  I never fit anywhere and there’s a such thing as skin cancer. I can also tan and severely burn.

But they treat The Duchess, Meghan Markle, poorly as a ‘mixed’ woman because they want people to see black as less than. I call it the “We want to make sure you don’t forget,” moment. If you know, you know. 

But Queen Elizabeth’s family always had black and brown people. They were there long before Queen Elizabeth was born and will be long after our lifetimes.

Once upon a time, there was more partnerships than conquering to gain power in the world. It’s 2022, the world leaders are focusing back on partnerships but still have the weapons in the briefcases.

By the time Queen Elizabeth’s great grand parents were born, royal families had to conquer more than partner.

Guns and weapon supplies make that easy to do. You’d be surprised who created the first guns. Let’s just say, those groups are still calling the shots. 

Why do think there’s always a weapons race? 

Mixed individuals can still have status in this world environment. But who wants status without the respect?

Oprah treats Meghan with respect. And it’s not just about having high status. She knows Meghan is a woman. She knows Meghan is a black woman. She knows Meghan can represent different kinds of women. She knows there are rules to keep high status. 

Most of the bad names I’ve been called in life are by men. But that’s to take away status.

I’ve been called exotic. But that’s to take away my stature and that’s about who leads – a walk to the side or behind. And there are benefits if I choose “right.”

I live in America. I wouldn’t call it modern. It’s just more modern than my ancestors experienced as women. 

I can cook and eat with a man whose courting me.

I can also benefit from his hard work.

Parents want to give their daughter(s) an education for different reasons. The common reason: To maintain or grow status and to make a nice life for their daughter(s) and, if she wants kids, a nice life for their grandchildren ( even if it’s not from her womb).

I can be assertive but I cannot be too assertive.

I can be as sweet to children as I want. 

I can be outspoken and showcase my intelligence. If it’s something that benefits us both, but the world says he takes the spotlight. But there are older men that say “Why can’t you?”

But it grants women a spotlight of their own. Meghan, you’re in the spotlight. What you do with it is sorta up to you. Use the time wisely.

The Duchess, Meghan Markle, has 5 stages she stands on – The Royal Family. Harry ( Prince Harry).  Her Children.  Humanity. Women.

And it’s during a time where black people and other marginalized people are realizing how much status they’ve always had.

I don’t know about you Duchess. But I’m reclaiming my time.

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New study: 55% Say emotional bond is cheating | Ashley Madison

survey on emotional cheating surveyed by dating website Ashley Madison

New data from Ashley Madison examines what types of behavior members of the dating website consider to be unfaithful. Why? Technology and social media have increased the opportunities people have to connect and reconnect, blurring the traditional lines of monogamy. Moreover, the data suggests it is the emotional component of an outside relationship, which can be as simple as chatting, that cheaters feel is most deceitful.

Emotional Cheating Survey

According to the survey, most members (55%) believe forming a deep emotional bond with someone else is considered the most unfaithful form of cheating, outside of sexual acts. Other top actions considered to be cheating include:

  • 46% believe sending naked pictures to someone other than his or her partner
  • 44% believe texting erotic messages to someone other than his or her partner
  • 29% believe maintaining an online dating profile

View now the full survey results.

What is considered unfaithful behavior?

For those who are married or in committed relationships today, here is what is considered adulterous behavior, aside from the obvious sexual acts:

  • Maintaining an online dating profile (29%) is considered to be cheating just as much as spending time with an ex-partner is (29%).
  • Forming a deep emotional bond with someone else (55%) is seen as a major form of cheating.
  • Sending naked pictures (46%).
  • Texting erotic messages to someone else (44%).
  • Casual flirting with someone other than me (18%).
  • Thinking about someone other than me when having sex with me (18%).
  • Going out to dinner with someone who is the opposite sex (18%).
  • Communicating with their ex (16%).
  • Fantasizing about someone else (13%).

“Modern monogamy is becoming more and more vague so it really boils down to communication between couples and negotiating the terms of a marriage in an open way,” says Isabella Mise, director of communication at Ashley Madison. “When couples aren’t on the same page, or one partner simply isn’t getting what they need, other options become desirable, even when that’s as simple as finding someone to talk to.”

Considering the layers of infidelity, it seems open dialogue is more important now than ever before–but are couples having the critical conversations about what it means to be faithful to one another? According to 64% of respondents, they do. More than three-quarters (78%) say they have defined, with their spouse, what infidelity means to each other with 75% saying they have agreed on a definition with their spouse.

“People make a conscious choice to cheat, it’s not typically something that people fall into,” says Dr. Tammy Nelson, sex and relationship therapist and author of The New Monogamy: ­Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. “Despite defining what infidelity means to one another, one or both people in a relationship could still make the choice to seek an extra-marital affair when their needs aren’t being met. An alternative conversation to have is one that outlines what it is that each partner needs from the other to feel happy and satisfied in the relationship, and how to talk about it when they don’t feel that.”

*Survey of 3,342 members of Ashley Madison between June 19, 2018 – July 8, 2018.

About AshleyMadison.com

AshleyMadison.com is the original destination for married dating and the global leader for affairs. With more than 54 million member accounts worldwide since 2002.

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Bedroom must: Enchanted Rose Organic Vaginal Health Balm & Lubricant

Ingredients inEnchanted Rose Organic lubricant healthy ingredients
*** Fromgirltogirl.com was provided a sample product for honest review. Opinions are our own. Product reviews are not endorsements. ***
This week Fromgirltogirl fell in love with a sex product we recommend any woman to keep close in hand for bedroom play and beyond.  The Enchanted Rose Organic Vaginal Health Balm & Organic Personal Lubricant. This is a woman’s best friend in the bedroom as well as everyday use because it is very multipurpose.
Briana Booker product review of Enchanted Rose Organic Vaginal Health Balm and Lubricant
Here is what the vaginal health balm can do for you:
  1. Use it to relieve daily vaginal dryness. Enchanted Rose includes organic, natural ingredients to moisturizer the vagina daily, prevent itching as well as irritation you may experience from shaving, breastfeeding, menopause, thinning vulvar tissue, or improper vaginal pH.
  2. Use it to always be ready for sex. It is safe to use Enchanted rose daily or nightly. The vaginal cream is not sticky. It can protect and keep your vaginal area well hydrated, especially for women with sensitive skin. Fromgirltogirl loves how the balm is reliable, especially when the mood strikes.
  3. Encourage vaginal health. Experts in women’s health encourage women to use the product because it is 100% natural and safe for rejuvenating the vagina. There are no fillers, no chemicals, no dyes, no parabens, no phthalates, and no gluten. More importantly, the high quality, fresh ingredients will not put you at risk of yeast infections or urinary tract infections (UTIs).

Ingredients inEnchanted Rose Organic lubricant healthy ingredients

The Enchanted Rose Organic Vaginal Health Balm & Organic Personal Lubricant was created by a Board Certified Pelvic Rehabilitation expert to solve her patient’s feminine dryness. The vaginal moisturizer is estrogen free and one of the most long-lasting lubes I’ve ever experienced. Here is my first reaction:

Let Fromgirltogirl know what you thing of the lube.

*** Fromgirltogirl.com was provided a sample product for honest review. Opinions are our own. Product reviews are not endorsements. ***

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New Data: Women are 60% more likely to have unhealthy romantic partners

Love and happiness are two things we learn at a young age to seek in life. As we get older and enter romantic relationships, we become influenced by our romantic partners. To better understand the extent to which we impact our romantic partners, Digital Third Coast surveyed 2,000 people about how their relationships influence health habits.

Digital Third Coast found:

  • Women are 56% more likely to encourage bad health habits in their partners
  • Cooking and grocery shopping with your partner promotes healthier living
  • Healthy partners have more influence than unhealthy partners
  • Women are 60% more likely than men to have an unhealthy partner

Check out the full results here and let us know your thoughts about the data.

The good thing about having a positive and healthy romantic partner in your life is always having someone to talk to about your day, be there for good/bad times, and eat together. From a person who has had both healthy and toxic romantic partners, I can tell you it makes a big difference when there is someone truly in your corner. Having a romantic partner who you know is not doing right by you can cause depression, weight gain, overall illness.

When you have a healthy and encouraging  partner,  you are likely more positive about life and motivated to become the best version of yourself. You may even lose some weight or start to eat healthier by your partner offering feedback to take better care of yourself. Check out this inforgraphic for a quick snapshot on the most common unhealthy and healthy habits romantic partners experience:

 

Quick snapshot of unhealthy habits and healthy habits of couples

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Here’s the podcast to listen to for great dating advice

Latest podcast from DatePodcast.com

Relationship status for new couples

Are you single and ready to find true love? Are you in a relationship, but experiencing a rough patch? Many of us know the feeling, searching for answers on how to not only find a loving relationship but also keep it up. Although your best friend and family may be there to help you wipe your tears away after a breakup or heartache, sometimes you just need an unbiased source to give you some great dating advice and help you develop healthy relationship goals to make your dating or romantic life more satisfying. Some daters opt for a therapist, but you may want to seek the latest trend of getting solid dating advice… listening to a dating podcast.

Hear us out: At fromgirltogirl.com we recently started listening to The Date Podcast which features new episodes every week, with every podcast being an interesting topic. Marriage and family therapist Emma Pineda and mobile app entrepreneur Zorric Sia launched their new podcast series to help singles successfully navigate the ins and outs of the popular dating apps. The podcast covers the use of dating apps, etiquette, and news.

“Dating apps can be a great tool for men and women to find love, but without understanding how the apps work – and how singles ‘work’ the apps – they can raise as many questions as they answer, especially for new users,” said Pineda, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Some of our favorite episodes thus far include Episode #5 – Slow Dating, Episode #4 – Don’t Have a Dirty Mirror, Episode #3 – To Ghost or Not to Ghost, and Episode #7 – How Clean is Clean?

Not only is the dating advice and wisdom on relationships valuable but we also cannot get enough of the two podcast hosts Pineda and Sia who are close friends and self-proclaimed foodies. Moreover, we are getting relationship advice from people well-informed on finding and sustaining healthy relationships. Sia focuses on the research and article aspects of the podcast show, while Pineda adds expertise with her therapeutic and counseling skills. We also love how they are on the quest to find “the one” just like we are.

Dating apps are supposed to help singles find great matches, but they often leave users with more questions than answers. This is why Pineda and Sia discuss how to best use dating apps, along with dating app etiquette and news for the podcast series.

In addition to the perspectives and stories provided by the hosts, The Date Podcast features guests who contribute their professional insights and personal experiences.

“We’re finding that everyone has their own dating app stories and no one is holding back from sharing them,” said Sia.

One weakness Sia found by using dating apps was the dependence on direct messaging and static photos. That prompted him to develop and launch bopsee, which is a video-based dating app. “Video prevents the dreaded – and all too common – experience of meeting someone for the first time and discovering that they look nothing like their profile picture,” Sia added.

Here is how you can connect with The Date Podcast on social media via @DatePodcast on Twitter and Instagram. Listeners can tune into The Date Podcast on the website DatePodcast.comiTunes or Google. Their dating app bopsee can be downloaded on iTunes or Google as well.

The Date Podcast is always looking for different dating perspectives, including yours. If you’d like to be a special guest on the podcast or have an interesting dating experience to share, contact Pineda and Sia . They would love to have you.

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#Truefam wisdom from a Twenty-Something gone Thirty

Do you know studies show that our closest relationships promote longevity, significantly influence our mental and physical health, and can change our mindsets about ourselves?

Thinking on my 20’s as I approach my 30’s, I have reflected on my life. I started to think about decisions I have made that were positively influenced by the people I chose to surround myself with. One thing I don’t regret from my 20’s is pursuing an education in International Studies. People can take many things from me, or at least material things, but knowledge and experience are two things no one in the world can take from me. The lessons of my yesterdays I feel will prepare me for my tomorrows and even for today.

I thank my immediate family for the sacrifices that came with me obtaining a college degree. To say the least, it wasn’t easy. It was physically, mentally, emotionally, and even financially draining. But life works in mysterious ways.

I went through years of depression, weight loss, weight gain, loss of hope, and more. But look, I am still standing. I am still here. I like to think in the long run, it’s worth it. And even this week it made me smile that the youngest of the grandchildren will be starting her first year of college this fall.

It may not sound like much to some, but we are the first generation for our family to go to college. It’s a true accomplishment for our family, given to where we started from.

Even with the sudden death of my older brother during my time in college from cancer, my soul really just holds on to the hope that someday this too will pay off. You never know, my non-existing grandchildren may reap the benefits of the struggles I take on in my life. I am well aware of the sacrifices my ancestors have taken on to make a better way of life for me. I now know what it feels to be grateful.

No, my life isn’t picture perfect, but I am grateful for my time here on Earth. I like to think it’s been well spent so far with a few hard lessons here and there.

People can say what they want about my life journey, but only my #TrueFam and I know how hard I have worked to get to where I am today as well as the challenges I face now to make for a brighter future.

I now understand the importance of #TrueFam, unconditional love from my parents and my youngest brother. We are still moving forward and I feel that counts for something. So I am ready for new beginnings and have hope that never giving up is the best life policy for my life. So here I close the end of an era … thankful for surviving my 20’s and ready for better days in my 30’s. It’s not the destination but the journey that makes this thing called life worth it.

Can you think of a decision you made that was positively influenced by the people you choose to surround yourself with?  How do these people motivate and support you?

Use hashtag #TrueFam on social media and a personal blog if you have one. I would love to hear from you!

Check out this TrueFam Effect Fact Sheet

Gearing up for my 30th birthday, I would like to share this #TrueFam Effect fact sheet with research from our friends at True & Co., a company empowering women to be their #TrueSelf starting with bras that make her comfortable and happy. True & Co. believes that the best way to become your #TrueSelf is to surround yourself with your #TrueFam. They inspire us at Fromgirltogirl to live our best lives by doing good, and we hope to inspire others to do the same. Check out the newest bra collections from True & Co. today.

#Truefam wisdom from a twenty something gone thirty fact sheetTrueFam Fact SheetYou may also be interested in the following articles:

True Body For Everyone
The (Not So Secret) Behind True Body

 

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Now playing: ‘UNTAMEABLE’ by Mel Monaco

Here at Fromgirltogirl, we love soulful, brass-infused jazz and wanted to share a new found favorite artists. Her name is Mel Monaco and she has a new album out called
Falling For The Third Time, recorded at Catherine North Studios in Hamilton with Guillermo Subauste of Pacha Sound (The Sadies, Sarah Harmer). The latest and greatest just released, UNTAMEABLE, Monaco’s brand new music video. 

Watch the music video  “UNTAMEABLE” 

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New study shows cheaters prioritize affair partners over spouses

Valentine's Day chocolates in a box

Happy Valentine’s Day! Ashley Madison has just released a new study examining how cheaters juggle their marriage and their affairs on Valentine’s Day. Turns out cheaters prioritize affair partners over spouses on V-Day.

Check out key findings

  • 30% of cheaters rather spend V-Day w/ their affair partners
  • Cheaters are spending upwards of $250 on affair partners
  • Nearly one-third of cheaters celebrate Valentine’s Day with their affair partner

No more sidelines for the Side Piece this Valentine’s Day

Ashley Madison, the world’s leading married dating website, used its unprecedented access to people who cheat to find out how members juggle the romantic responsibility of celebrating their marriage and their extramarital relationship on the special day.  As it turns out, cheaters spend Valentine’s Day very differently between their two partners and prioritizing a spouse is no longer the status quo with almost a third (28%) of survey respondents opting to spend it with their affair partner.

Spouse vs. Mistress/Misteress

With extramarital partners,  people often aren’t looking to replace their spouse, they’re looking to fulfill unmet needs. That said, it’s clear there is a shift happening and the affair partner is rising up the ranks as it pertains to partner priority.

“Typically, holidays and special occasions are reserved for the spouse and the affair partner is sidelined,” says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications at Ashley Madison. “But for Valentine’s Day this year, we’re seeing that affairs of the heart can lead to new traditions with a greater importance being placed on the extramarital relationship.”

Also interesting is that respondents spend about the same amount of money on their primary partner as they do for their affair partner. According to the survey, more than a third of respondents say they spend between $100-$250 on their affair partner, while the same amount (36%) say they spend $100-$250 when asked how much they spend on their spouse. This is surprising because you’d think the main romantic holiday of the year would be reserved for the primary partner, but this implies there is no real distinction between how they view the importance of each relationship.

 Cheaters spend the same amount on their spouse and affair partner, but spend the money in different ways.

When asked, 71% of respondents say they celebrate Valentine’s Day with their affair partner by having sex, whereas 73% spend Valentine’s Day with their spouse by having dinner. Cheaters are likely spending their money on their spouse during dinner while spending the same amount on things like a hotel room for the affair partner.

“Between how they spend their money and how they spend their time, the members surveyed are demonstrating that there is an increased investment being made with affair partners,” says Mise. “It will be interesting to see if this shift continues.”

 

*Survey of 1,638 members of Ashley Madison between January 25, 2018 to February 5, 2018

 

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Why people cheat: Filling the emotional voids

Emotional affairs and cheating correlate according to a new Ashley Madison study

Today Ashley Madison released a new study examining why people cheat. The main takeaway: besides sex, affair partners are helping cheaters fill emotional voids that spouses aren’t. Here are key findings from the study:

  • Cheaters found more affection (44%) and friendship (42%) w/ affair partners vs. spouses
  • Cheaters say affair partners helped them regain confidence (29%) and feel more desired (48%)

The full study has more interesting data. Here are highlights:

According to the survey, sex is the number one reason people choose to cheat (61%), but the other reasons also show a great deal about why some relationships experience infidelity. Cheaters are actively trying to fill a void in their lives, in their marriages, and in their relationships. Some want to expand the physical elements like exploring new desires (45%), while others are looking for emotional reassurance like affection (44%), friendship (42%) and the feeling of butterflies again (30%).

“The reasons why people cheat are very telling of the types of relationships that people find themselves in,” says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. “When sex and intimacy fade, often times monogamy becomes a struggle for our members but they don’t want to leave their partner altogether. Infidelity is an avenue for them to have certain needs met and stay happy in their primary relationship.”

Stray to Stay

Infidelity is often portrayed as an immoral act and is rarely looked at in a positive light. But the members of AshleyMadison.com aren’t necessarily looking to leave their spouse, they are looking to repair the emptiness that they are feeling. People find themselves in a family, in a loving marriage, in financial stability yet are lacking specific areas in those relationships. And that’s why sex comes up as a top reason for why people cheat. This doesn’t mean they’re looking to fully replace their spouse as 54% survey respondents are only seeking short-term dating. Furthermore, 50% of respondents said they cheat and not leave their spouse because they love their partner but are just looking for more sexual fulfillment.

As a result, survey respondents have revealed what it is they like about having affairs allows them to return to their marriage and their household unit as a happier more satisfied partner. Not surprisingly, for the majority it came down to the fact their sexual needs were met (76%).  For others it made them feel more alive (51%), they felt desired (48%), their emotional needs were met (37%), and they regained their confidence (29%). These are all areas of life that people need to feel secure and be happy, and they get that from finding what they need outside of the marriage when their partner is unable to give them that.

Sure cheating comes with some downsides like potentially getting caught. But for the members of AshleyMadison.com, they aren’t too worried about it. When asked, 71% of respondents said they don’t feel guilty about cheating on their partner, nor is it the top concern for cheaters when entering an affair. So when it comes to cheating, is the risk worth the reward? If the reward means being happy again, then it seems like the answer is yes.

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Best sex toys for Valentine’s Day: The mini bullet vibrator

Mini G Spot Vibrator for foreplay, masturbation and sex.
We have a 15% discount just for you. Scroll to the end of the article for the code. Share with friends.

From whips to bullet vibrators, the discussion of sex toys and overall sexual pleasure were topics to discuss behind closed doors. Lucky for us the world is changing and encourages us to think out loud about our deepest fantasies and so much more. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Fromgirltogirl is here to chat sex toys. Our new favorite on-the-go sex toy is the mini bullet vibrator.

About the mini bullet vibrator

Using a mini bullet vibrator has been on our bucket list for a while. We love that it is easy to use and carry around anytime we need it. Some may be surprised, but the mini is powerful for its size. The reason we decided to try the mini bullet is for clitoral stimulation, a favorite among sexual stimulation. But it can do so much more than a great orgasm.

Mini bullet vibrators are not solely for sexual pleasure. Feel free to use it for getting a massage. It feels great and gives better circulation of blood throughout the body. We even use it to relieve muscle pain and tension after working out.

The sex toy every woman should have

When we say every woman should have a mini bullet vibrator, we mean it. Here is what we love about it:

  1. It has the power to give an orgasm in less than 3 minutes. The mini bullet vibrator is especially intense for clitoral stimulation but the toy can stimulate any part of the body.
  2. The mini bullet vibrator can be used during sex as well as with other toys. One of the best ways to truly enjoy sex is to get to know your body. When you know your body, you know where you can reach the most pleasure and guide your sex partner to the right spots. Some favorite spots to use the mini bullet vibrator: the clitoris, nipples, and even the lower back.
  3. The toy is portable. Yes, go and toss your vibrator in your handbag. You may even store it in your pocket. Why? It is a stress reliever when you need it and you never know when you will need that relief. No, you don’t have to use it on your vagina all the time. Sometimes you just need to massage your head because you have a headache. What works for you is what counts.
  4. It makes for a great couples sex toy. For example, you can insert the mini bullet vibrator at the base of dildos, anal toys, or cock rings to offer vibration.

The mini bullet vibrator we got is easy to use, discrete.  Watch the video below to learn more about the benefits:

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The Mini Bullet Vibrator in this review was provided by Love it right. If you would like to purchase your own use the coupon code SEX15 for 15% OFF your order.

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