New data from Ashley Madison examines what types of behavior members of the dating website consider to be unfaithful. Why? Technology and social media have increased the opportunities people have to connect and reconnect, blurring the traditional lines of monogamy. Moreover, the data suggests it is the emotional component of an outside relationship, which can be as simple as chatting, that cheaters feel is most deceitful.
Emotional Cheating Survey
According to the survey, most members (55%) believe forming a deep emotional bond with someone else is considered the most unfaithful form of cheating, outside of sexual acts. Other top actions considered to be cheating include:
- 46% believe sending naked pictures to someone other than his or her partner
- 44% believe texting erotic messages to someone other than his or her partner
- 29% believe maintaining an online dating profile
View now the full survey results.
What is considered unfaithful behavior?
For those who are married or in committed relationships today, here is what is considered adulterous behavior, aside from the obvious sexual acts:
- Maintaining an online dating profile (29%) is considered to be cheating just as much as spending time with an ex-partner is (29%).
- Forming a deep emotional bond with someone else (55%) is seen as a major form of cheating.
- Sending naked pictures (46%).
- Texting erotic messages to someone else (44%).
- Casual flirting with someone other than me (18%).
- Thinking about someone other than me when having sex with me (18%).
- Going out to dinner with someone who is the opposite sex (18%).
- Communicating with their ex (16%).
- Fantasizing about someone else (13%).
“Modern monogamy is becoming more and more vague so it really boils down to communication between couples and negotiating the terms of a marriage in an open way,” says Isabella Mise, director of communication at Ashley Madison. “When couples aren’t on the same page, or one partner simply isn’t getting what they need, other options become desirable, even when that’s as simple as finding someone to talk to.”
Considering the layers of infidelity, it seems open dialogue is more important now than ever before–but are couples having the critical conversations about what it means to be faithful to one another? According to 64% of respondents, they do. More than three-quarters (78%) say they have defined, with their spouse, what infidelity means to each other with 75% saying they have agreed on a definition with their spouse.
“People make a conscious choice to cheat, it’s not typically something that people fall into,” says Dr. Tammy Nelson, sex and relationship therapist and author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. “Despite defining what infidelity means to one another, one or both people in a relationship could still make the choice to seek an extra-marital affair when their needs aren’t being met. An alternative conversation to have is one that outlines what it is that each partner needs from the other to feel happy and satisfied in the relationship, and how to talk about it when they don’t feel that.”
*Survey of 3,342 members of Ashley Madison between June 19, 2018 – July 8, 2018.
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